Sorry but I have figured out your secret code and will now reveal your true identity to the whole internet: You are a horse who is trying to obscure the fact that you wear horseshoes but you are also obsessed with them and can’t help but reference them, in the hopes that you’ll prove to your archnemesis, a racoon, that wearing horseshoes is way better for your hooves than the raccoon shoes he keeps trying to sell you.

Also, be aware that he isn’t really in a horseshoes vs raccoonshoes debate with you, he’s just trying to scam you into giving him some apples for some dirty gloves he found in a dumpster. He, just like everyone else, knows very wrll that horse footwear is superior to all others and that you are hardcore af for just standing there casually while your cobbler helps you put them on with nails and a hammer.