What it means to me is different from what it did for me.

I didn’t marry my ex, we had kids so were a family regardless and I didn’t want to be a wife just a mom. I am glad we never married.

My now husband REALLY wanted to get married, like a wedding and the whole thing, he had already kids too, from an ex-wife (both their bio kids and his stepkids, court gave him custody of all of them and he adopted the ones he could). I caved and told him ask in 2 years, he did.

What it did was like some old timey upper class marriage shit, combined families & created a dynasty. I liked it because “stepmom/stepdad” can do things like school pickup that “mom’s boyfriend” can’t. And my kids & his kids got this amazing network of siblings, they all like each other. And I got a great MIL & FIL, and together my husband & I make kind of a lot of money when before we were each supporting a family alone, and struggling.

So basically because we already had families, getting married made us one big family. Which now makes me think of it like that, when before all I saw was the man-owns-woman shit and wanted no part of that.