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I have ADHD. All of my failings in life ARE my fault.
My symptoms may be the reason for a lot of the issues I have, but they aren’t an excuse. I can and have overcome all of them at some time given the right circumstances and/or medication. Sometimes I just don’t want to. Sometimes I chose to hyper focus on a video game for 6 hours instead of doing the chore that would take 10 minutes that I have been dreading for 2 days. Sometimes I like starting a new project instead of finishing an old one.
It’s just part of who I am.
This follows that basic rule of forgiving and accepting yourself. Nice .
I never thought about it like this. Kinda made me tear up a little. Thanks for that. 😄
Same boat here, wasn’t diagnosed until my 40’s, but I made it through college with great grades (not the first time around, went back to school in my late 20’s), well respected in my career and making good money… but I spent 3 days last week playing video games on my time off when I was supposed to be getting stuff done around the house.
There’ll be a point where my ability to “do” will switch back on, and all that will get done… it just didn’t happen last week.
At least the wife is understanding and knows that when my brain clicks over again it’ll be dealt with.
I mean…ADHD or not, your life is generally in your own hands, both successes and failures are your “fault”. The ADHD doesn’t take the responsibility, it only adds context.
Yes and no. I knew a guy that was biking and had an accident. He lost his legs. He because an athlete, did sailing and climbed mountain and stuff. He still couldn’t use a normal bike. Do you get what I mean? You can do self-help as much as you want but you can’t ask a blind person to look at the sky.
Or more like you can ask, but you’ll probably get a blank stare.
Sorry for the bad joke
This is only true under the assumption that ADHD is only to the detriment of the person. I don’t believe that to be true at all. Unlike e.g. missing a leg or being blind, which don’t really give any benefits at all, many people with ADHD are also very successful because it to drives them somewhere and makes them act because they simply have to.
Thanks for telling us you don’t have a clue what psychiatric disorders are, because that’s what you just announced by claiming ADHD is actually a benefit.
Sure, some people with ADHD are successful despite their condition. Some people who are blind or paralyzed are successful despite their conditions, too. But that should never be the standard against which all people with those conditions are measured. That’s ableism.
And if you don’t consider psychiatric disorders to be “real” disabilities, then fuck you, plain and simple.
You’re clearly not reading what I’m writing, so I’ll try being more clear.
The behavior ADHD brings out actually has the potential to be a benefit. Whether or not it is for the individual is dependent on a lot of other factors, much of it during upbringing. I already stated this, I’m fully aware of it being a problem more often than not. But the potential for it to be a benefit is absolutely there. Being blind has no potential to be an actual benefit for you…ever.
Context, which can be translated to useful keywords and traits to use for self discovery. Primarily for learning about the coping mechanisms that others have successfully deployed but also to ease the sort of negative thoughts in the last part of this post.
The worse part is when you get so good at coping that others don’t see the work that goes in just to function in a society built to your disadvantage.
Ugh, I hate that! Thank you for putting that into words. It’s always been this vague frustration that I could never quite explain to people.
Like, if all the hard work and progress I’ve made only goes so far as to rule out any sympathy or benefit of the doubt whenever my obstacles become insurmountable, then I guess I’ll just fuck off and not even try anymore…
