Jared Leto
This is a 100% accurate statement
I see your Jared Leto, and raise you an Adam Driver.
You see my FIFA and raise an orange slice? 😅
When the trailer is just a highlights reel of the entire plot. If the movie was worth watching they would let it speak for itself.
- Netflix lighting
- Generic, Zimmer-stolen OST
- Franchises
- Standard blocking
- Overexposition
- Whedonisms
- More broadly, anything that’s been big budget Hollywood for the last 30 years or so.
Whedonisms
What the heck is that? I liked buffy and firefly, so use those as an example if you could.
Yeah, do they mean pre- or post- marvel?
Never watched Buffy but anything that’s been flogged to death by Marvel movies, yes.
Starring Mark Wahlberg.
The only exception is The Other Guys.
Pain & Gain is a goddamn masterpiece, and I’m willing to die on this hill.
When you can’t escape the ads for it.
If it’s desperate to give me the whole plot in the trailer to try to hook me into watching it.
Movies funded by Germany.
It’s always the same type of movie. Either we get some boomer vs. youth plot, a family (+child) with relationship problems or something about the second world war. It’s the most boring slop for our aging population you can imagine.
This is a very lazy observation, but for a US production, if it’s released in the US first it’s often a sign they’re trying to get the opening weekend without many reviews available to dissuade attendance.
If it’s actually a good film, it’ll open in a foreign region a week or two before the US so they can use those reviews in promotion.
Opening exposition that involves silly names for things …
There’s examples if good exposition (see: the start of Mad Max 2) but anything that starts with shit like
“They came from the skies, mysteriously, the monsters we now call the Xergifaltuns. With their Spiglyzarfix weapons we didn’t stand a chance …”
Yeah, it’s going to be rubbish.
More than five ‘executive producers.’
The first three minutes is a mish-mash string of production company logos, and half of them you’ve never heard of before.
budget blown in the first 5 minutes followed by 85 minutes of people in random uniforms in blank rooms with crappy laptops
There’s a mysterious person/killer, that only the protagonist can see.
Anything where the poster/promo has a man and woman apart but kinda the same each other (grumpy or lustfully). Relationship waffle made into movies is the most boring looking crap. It usually has a 3-5 word little like ‘you said forever’ or ‘beneath the elderflower moon’
“you’ve got mail”?
“When Harry met Sally”?
It’s more the newer stuff. Netflix style stuff.
If you have a character singing and dancing in the first 5 minutes and it is not produced by Disney, or a musical.
