That’s a good point, Incubator
Incubator Jones? Of Memphis, TN?
Well, my daddy left home when I was three. Didn’t leave very much to my mom and me. Except this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. Now I don’t blame him 'cause he run and hid but the meanest thing that my daddy ever did was before he left, he went and named me Sue.
Oh boy… These are real people.
- Drink Water Rivera: Very refreshing take on nomenclature but quite bland 8/20.
- Macaroni 85, Spaghetti 88, and Sincerely Yours 98 Pascual: As if someone stopped them from naming their kid after pasta because the username is already taken. 66.67/10 because they didn’t commit all the way.
- Covid Bryant: Not quite Black Mamba, not quite the Black Death but still 8/10 or 24/30.
- Abcde Aeiou: Very educational A+/10
- Captain Philip Ines: Not quite the super soldier 19/40.
The site links a real source for each name but the commentaries on each one read like ai generated so i was skeptical.
Just in case anyone hadn’t heard this one before: Abcde is pronounced “Absidy”, which is more of a real name.
the parent who named was trying to say it that way to trigger people, shes full of it.
I’m a huge fan of your scoring system!
She’d love Germany. Those names would be illegal over here.
Then again the law also explicitly states that you can name your kid any name that’s normal for your heritage. I guess that means an American would be able to name their kid Kitchenaid because it aligns with their traditions.
So if a Turkish family tries to name their kid Helmut that’s not allowed?
No, I think that would be allowed as well.
Its like a whole gneration hasn’t listemed to Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue” ← (best Folsom Prison performance)
My name is Sue. How do you do? NOW YOU GONNA DIE!
Peruvians take this to another level. There’s a professional soccer player named Osama Vinladen, and his brother is Sadam Huseín
There’s a town mayor election where the candidate Lenin lost to…eventual winner named after THAT Austrian artist
Kitchenaid Whiskey Jones is an awesome name
My last name is Browning, like the gun manufacturer (distant relation). I used to joke that if I ever had boy/girl twins I would name them Colt Winchester (boy) and Biretta Glock (girl). I nearly got Colt for my youngest, but there were too many kids named Colton around.
I also really wanted to name my first son Charlemagne. This was because back in high school when we studied the Holy Roman Empire all the girls in class were talking about how Charlemange was such a beautiful sounding name. I figured that he’d have to put up with some shit growing up, but it would all pay off because not only would he wind up with a name that people loved to say, but he’d also be resilient and hopefully with a solid sense of humor.
My wife vetoed this nearly as soon as the ring was on her finger.
Jesus christ you’re awful with names for your kids.
I hope you two didn’t choose the name that has the beautiful meaning of “lightbringer” and end up naming one of your boys “Lucifer”
Hey, don’t bring little Lucy into this! He already has enough trouble.
morningstar, apparently Samael is “venom of god” so that isnt a good one either.
Here’s an idea, one should not name kids after characters considered bad or evil. EVEN IF IT COULD BE INTERPRETED MULTIPLE WAYS.
You could sell Charlamagne as “Charles for almost anything except when he wants to show off”
These haters are idiots.
I have firearms-oriented first and middle names, and it’s fucking awesome. Instant cred with people usually suspect of others, AFAIK never a negative issue. If I had met a young woman named Biretta Glock in high school or college, I think we would have been forced by everyone in America to get married in the spot.
Charlemagne Tha God proves you right. Though that’s also a great Tomboy girl name, with Charlene or Charley for short. See “The Long Kiss Good Night” for further validation.
Long Kiss Goodnight is a criminally overlooked movie
My head canon is that it’s the pilot project for the Bourne project. It’s probably loosely based on the Bourne books from the 80s.
Criminally underrated is actuate. It’s on my top 10 movies ever. Great writing, hitting all the tropes, Samuel L. Jackson in his prime.
And Geena Davis was always cast as a sort of girl next door and to be the badass she was really showed her range.
Postmaster General Ford Lincoln Mercury.
That’s a bar I haven’t heard for a long time…
God, what a great name and a great movie, thanks for bringing it to the forefront of my memory.
Whisky Jones is a bad ass name though. That’s either a porn star or a treasure hunter and I’m good either way
Whiskey Jones has a black belt and spent a little time as a stuntman back in the early 2ks.
He prefers beer these days.
Rise of the Leighs and Dens
My wife and I have received several compliments just for giving both of our daughters normal, pronounceable names. Names I don’t see very often anymore, but perfectly normal before 9/11 altered the timeline and made everyone unbearably stupid.
Same here. My wife and I also picked traditional timeless names that we both liked and know they will never get made fun of for them
Ding dong Dear Strong Bad,
How do you type with boxing gloves on?
Crapfully yours,
dumples
C G N!
… U!
Pine. Wished I could still use pine as an email client.
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There was a golfer at Augusta national and her first name was Asterisk.
I wonder if their other children are named comma, semi colon, or parentheses?
Maybe Obelix and Idefix?
Obelisk and Getaflix
Idk about children, but a character in La saga/fuga de J.B. (Torrente Ballester book from the early 70’s) is called Don Asterisco.
Hot take for Zambia and parts of Zim and Namibia. Names there are wild. Things you see, aspirations, etc. Even other African counties find it hilarious.
https://www.legit.ng/1097767-see-hilarious-names-zambian-namibian-parents-give-children-photos.html
I’ve personally met people named Nevers, as in short for “Never Again” having a baby. Also, Fuckson is a popular one. Even written in news.
Trevor Noah had old stand up about it.
There was an article about I believe a Nigerian researcher who had a record number of retractions due to misinformation on his articles. His name was Hitler Louis and his partner’s name was Honest Benjamin lmao
Innocent Benjamin
And yeah, Hitler isn’t an uncommon name in Africa. So is Elvis. They’re names everyone knows, from famous people.
I remember reading about some girls literally called ‘undesired’ on their language :(
I mean, I’ve met girls called “Chastity” which is weird as fuck if you think about it for half a second.
It’s naming them for a supposed ‘virtue’ it may be hoped they possess.
Same deal as naming girls Grace, Charity, Faith etc. All are ‘virtue’ names.
I personally dislike it, but it’s pretty well-established.
Yeah I get the trend but naming your kids “doesn’t fuck” is just weird
I think labeling “Kitchenaid Whiskey Jones” as “borderline” is too lenient. “McKeinsleigh” I think is the borderline one. Marijuana Pepsi managed to make something of it – ironically writing her PhD thesis around it – but I would be thinking forwards and backwards about what a name I give could do to a living, breathing person their entire life (even if they get it legally changed).
I’ve always told people pick a name for your child and unless there is a realy good reason don’t name them after yourself. Then say the name out loud a few times, if you can see a respected doctor,CEO, and janitor having that name then you picked a good one. Middle names are free space and that’s where you can be “quirky”
All these parents should be catapulted into the sea. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
