A romantic partner is ideally also a friend. They can often handle both, but they’re just one friend and that’s putting a lot of weight on their shoulders. And things in life change. What happens if your romantic partner gets seriously ill and you can’t confide in them anymore? What if the romantic partner is the person you’re having issues with and you need an outside point of view? Not everything is so minimalist in real life. Good luck trying to keep it minimalist like you’re proposing, but life often has other ideas.
What if the romantic partner is the person you’re having issues with and you need an outside point of view?
Counselor or therapist? I’m not talking about my personal romantic issues with anyone else really. Friends aren’t qualified for that and it’s none of their business.
Recently found the first friends that i put that level of trust into and I can not explain how much it is way different than a therapist. Your partner holds a special place, but that also comes with alot of its own issues. For me there was alot of extra pressure purely because they are the one i care about the most. That hindered me from being as open as i wanted in certain situations and could not stay true to neither them nor myself. Having friends that you trust enough to do that with but where the stakes are “lower” makes that way easier. A therapist could do that but its usually way more time consuming, expensive and less fulfilling than having people that already know and thay respect you to whom you can open up and discuss with. It is also just way more “real”, heart-to-heart and human in a way a therapist can not be.
If you are going to limit yourself to what your romantic partner is interested in, I suppose it could work, but feels very confined.
I have many hobbies and interests not shared in full by any romantic partner I’ve ever had, though there have been some notable exceptions.
One woman I dated for many years rode motorcycles and snowboards.
Another shared my interest in Fromsoft video games.
I doubt anyone I would seriously date at 50 is going to share my passion for skateboarding, though I’d love to be proven wrong on that one.
I don’t have many close friends, and only two live within visiting distance. Most have spread across the country. We stay in touch with a phone call every month or two, catching up, sharing stories, discussing common interests. The ones in town I’ll see maybe once a month as well, for dinner, drinks, or a motorcycle ride.
They all bring ideas and experiences into my life I wouldn’t otherwise have, and by maintaining friendships with a wide variety in background and education, it keeps me from becoming too narrow minded or stunted.
Could I live my life without my friends? Sure. Would I want to? Absolutely not.
A romantic partner is one type of relationship often with the extra weight of that person being a romantic partner. A romantic partner ideally is a life partner you want to share the entirety of your life with. It’s a lot heavier than a friend.
A romantic partner is someone special who you will be spending the vast majority of your time with. Someone who you might star a family with.
A friend is less heavy, more casual. A friend is someone who you ideally can trust and talk to and who will support you and you them, but is not someone you are physically attracted to, or has an interest in being romantic with you or vice versa.
A healthy romantic partnership usually starts off as a friendship, and then over time turns into a romantic one. You can’t just meet a stranger and say "let’s spend our entire lives together, and have a family, and live together. At least not a romantic partnership you want to actually work.
Wouldn’t that be covered by the romantic partner usually?
A romantic partner is ideally also a friend. They can often handle both, but they’re just one friend and that’s putting a lot of weight on their shoulders. And things in life change. What happens if your romantic partner gets seriously ill and you can’t confide in them anymore? What if the romantic partner is the person you’re having issues with and you need an outside point of view? Not everything is so minimalist in real life. Good luck trying to keep it minimalist like you’re proposing, but life often has other ideas.
Counselor or therapist? I’m not talking about my personal romantic issues with anyone else really. Friends aren’t qualified for that and it’s none of their business.
Recently found the first friends that i put that level of trust into and I can not explain how much it is way different than a therapist. Your partner holds a special place, but that also comes with alot of its own issues. For me there was alot of extra pressure purely because they are the one i care about the most. That hindered me from being as open as i wanted in certain situations and could not stay true to neither them nor myself. Having friends that you trust enough to do that with but where the stakes are “lower” makes that way easier. A therapist could do that but its usually way more time consuming, expensive and less fulfilling than having people that already know and thay respect you to whom you can open up and discuss with. It is also just way more “real”, heart-to-heart and human in a way a therapist can not be.
If you are going to limit yourself to what your romantic partner is interested in, I suppose it could work, but feels very confined.
I have many hobbies and interests not shared in full by any romantic partner I’ve ever had, though there have been some notable exceptions.
One woman I dated for many years rode motorcycles and snowboards.
Another shared my interest in Fromsoft video games.
I doubt anyone I would seriously date at 50 is going to share my passion for skateboarding, though I’d love to be proven wrong on that one.
I don’t have many close friends, and only two live within visiting distance. Most have spread across the country. We stay in touch with a phone call every month or two, catching up, sharing stories, discussing common interests. The ones in town I’ll see maybe once a month as well, for dinner, drinks, or a motorcycle ride.
They all bring ideas and experiences into my life I wouldn’t otherwise have, and by maintaining friendships with a wide variety in background and education, it keeps me from becoming too narrow minded or stunted.
Could I live my life without my friends? Sure. Would I want to? Absolutely not.
A romantic partner is one type of relationship often with the extra weight of that person being a romantic partner. A romantic partner ideally is a life partner you want to share the entirety of your life with. It’s a lot heavier than a friend.
A romantic partner is someone special who you will be spending the vast majority of your time with. Someone who you might star a family with.
A friend is less heavy, more casual. A friend is someone who you ideally can trust and talk to and who will support you and you them, but is not someone you are physically attracted to, or has an interest in being romantic with you or vice versa.
A healthy romantic partnership usually starts off as a friendship, and then over time turns into a romantic one. You can’t just meet a stranger and say "let’s spend our entire lives together, and have a family, and live together. At least not a romantic partnership you want to actually work.