• qarbone@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      …I think the issue is in pretending she is not interested. What part of feigning disinterest indicates “standards”?

      Is a woman some kind of loose trollop because she admits to some initial attraction?

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        10 days ago

        Is a woman some kind of loose trollop because she admits to some initial attraction?

        Society very often conditions women to feel like they are sluts if they act too interested.

      • Entertainmeonly (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        Could be that she sees potential but needs more interaction to determine if what she sees is real or a play. Many men put on airs and then drop them after a time. Could be she has many things going on and needs to cull the attention for a time. Could be she has been told by mentors that being too interested is perceived as easy or slutty. Many, many reasons to be attracted and act like you’re not. Sometimes flirting involves a back and forth. No means no but thats not what the second category is talking about. Thats the third.

        • qarbone@lemmy.world
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          10 days ago

          No means no, but some people are scared to say “no” because others don’t react well to “no.” So they deflect when they mean “no.”

          Then the reasonable suitor, aware of the broader context, has to assume anything but a “yes” is a “no”, or else risk contributing to the problem.

          • Wren@lemmy.today
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            9 days ago

            I don’t think so. There are plenty of ways to signal you want to continue a conversation or see each other again without a “yes, let’s fuck.” Most reasonable suitors, in my experience, understand the context of “not yes, yet.”

            • qarbone@lemmy.world
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              9 days ago

              Edit: sorry, I’m juggling multiple threads. This basis was in a different thread, so this was not established.

              We were not operating under the belief that “yes” meant “immediate fucking.” It was “(openly) interested,” “interested but feigning disinterest,” and “uninterested.” I’d say “signaling that you want to continue conversing with or seeing each other again” falls pretty squarely into “interested.”

              There is a possible disconnect between platonic and sexual or romantic interest even between the people talking but we’re booking interest as interest.

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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      10 days ago

      Just because she is not immediately interested

      Uhhh, did you just make up a fourth option and pretend I replied to that instead of the one I actually quoted?

      It’s right there, you know. Just centimeters above your very offended reply.

      Also, as a woman, my experience with other women generally comes down to “ah, I’m not into women, sorry”. Granted, I’ve been married for a decade now, so eh