• kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    10 days ago

    You are far likely to get a positive response if you treat her like literally any other person and not a prospect.

    Not if your general treatment of strangers doesn’t involve talking to them.

    • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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      10 days ago

      My point is treat women like you’re trying to make a friend, not like a person you are trying to date because you don’t know enough about them as a person to even know if there will be a connection.

      If you’d approach people you don’t know for dates but not friendship, that’s your own problem and maybe something to work on.

      Women don’t want to be liked for how they look, they want to be liked for who they are.

      • ZDL@lazysoci.al
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        9 days ago

        Women don’t want to be liked for how they look, they want to be liked for who they are.

        Hard disagree here. I love being liked for how I look.

        I just don’t put out because you say I look nice. It’s a foot in the door at best, and only if you praise it in ways that don’t come across like you’re viewing me as a slab of meat with orifices.

        I mean unless I’m in a hook-up joint, duh.

    • ZDL@lazysoci.al
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      9 days ago

      Not if your general treatment of strangers doesn’t involve talking to them.

      Sounds like you need to fix your general treatment of strangers then, rather than fixing your approach to women you find attractive.

      • kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 days ago

        I have a pathological fear of making anyone’s day worse unless they give me a very good reason. I probably do need to work on that somewhat, but I also think many people feel too entitled to others’ time.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          Yeah you need to work on that. Humans exist in community, we need it. Casual small talk with strangers is good for everyone

          • ZDL@lazysoci.al
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            8 days ago

            Small talk is the cultural “carrier wave”. It’s the never-ending buzz of shared values and experiences against which our personalities stand out.

            Radios don’t work if they can’t hook into the carrier wave of the channel they’re on. Same for small talk and people.