• velma@sh.itjust.works
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    19 days ago

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdh9irHuk-U&ra=m

    All I ask for is respect
    I don’t get it from the state
    And I don’t get it from men
    You take up spaces that aren’t yours
    Because of history, on whose side?
    Oh right, it’s always yours

    And I just want, yeah, I just want
    Not to be needed, not to be looked at
    With a menace and the thought of breeding
    And it’s alright, let’s step outside
    And you can feel I’d rather
    Show my wrath, get spit upon and learn the reasons why

    Why can’t I walk in the street without men bothering me?
    Why does he poison my heart
    Control my life from afar?

    I’m sick of being sad when I’m alone
    I’m sick of being scared on my walk home
    I’m sick of being trapped by what you impose
    You hear yes when I say no

    One step out of line and I’m done
    Medieval punishment for saying, I will make you cum
    Mosquito, an evil, you suck out all my blood
    I’ll crush you like the bug you are, underneath my thumb

    Wants to get rid of me 'cause he’s afraid
    Sick of thoughts of me taking his place
    Refuse to back down in the eye of your hate
    I’ll push you right back from whence you came

    Why can’t I walk in the street without men bothering me?
    Why does he poison my heart
    Control my life from afar?

    I’m sick of being sad when I’m alone
    I’m sick of being scared on my walk home
    I’m sick of being trapped by what you impose
    You hear yes when I say no

    When they don’t stop, when you say stop
    When they don’t stop, when you say stop
    When they stand too close on the sidewalk
    My clothes don’t have pockets
    And I’m forced to want it
    Complain about a condom
    I hate you, love you, it’s Stockholm
    Not your pretty girl, I never will be
    Don’t look me up and down like I’m a piece of meat
    I see how you degrade with no shame
    So hear me when I say

    I’m sick of being sad when I’m alone
    I’m sick of being scared on my walk home
    I’m sick of being trapped by what you impose
    You hear yes when I say no

    • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works
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      19 days ago

      Yes, it’s definitely a start to a lot of more interesting questions, like:

      • can men ever adjust to rejection?
      • will they ever give women the same right to physical preferences as they grant themselves?
      • can women state their preferences without being caricatured as gold-diggers or inviting abuse (from, presumably, Chads).

      I think a lot of the debate around this is really about male entitlement. Men are absolutely shocked and horrified that women turn them down and react badly, and women are super-annoyed that the men who complain about shortness the most have a shitton of more pressing issues interfering with their dating lives (often hilariously including exacting physical standards).

      I’m firmly on the side of toppling the patriarchy, but I don’t see the role of gaslighting in that endeavor.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        19 days ago

        I’m firmly on the side of toppling the patriarchy, but I don’t see the role of gaslighting in that endeavor.

        Is it gaslighting to be realistic and push back on the manosphere lies about scarcity in dating?

        Telling boys and men that their height will have all women rejecting them is poisonous and harms them overall. And it’s blatantly not true.

        • schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works
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          19 days ago

          I didn’t say nobody would date them. I said it’s a disadvantage.

          I guess the discussion online is always in context of online debates and not real life. Online, we have to fight red-pill propaganda constantly, so the simple reality that being a shorter man makes dating harder becomes some sort of weird battleground, where to concede that point is capitulation to manosphere agenda.

          That’s the only way I can make sense of the differenges between IRL and online discussions of this issue.

          I get it. Like if I’m talking to someone (anywhere) and they just randomly volunteer that black people in the US commit more crimes, I’m assuming they’re not about to start talking about systemic injustices that lead to black people being surveilled, arrested, and convicted disproportionately. Might as well also say, “I’m not racist, but it’s the culture.

          But in my case, it is simply that I’ve heard from plenty of women that they don’t like to date shorter men, and I’ve seen plenty of jokes made at the expense of short men in media (including fat-positive Shrek), that it drives me absolutely bonkers to deny it.

          The only other thing it could be is generational. I’m Gen X. Maybe younger gen honestly does not care and that’s why our experiences are different.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            19 days ago

            so the simple reality that being a shorter man makes dating harder becomes some sort of weird battleground, where to concede that point is capitulation to manosphere agenda.

            I recognized that it is a disadvantage and that it is not disimilar to the disadvantages tall women have when dating.

            But in my case, it is simply that I’ve heard from plenty of women that they don’t like to date shorter men, and I’ve seen plenty of jokes made at the expense of short men in media (including fat-positive Shrek), that it drives me absolutely bonkers to deny it.

            No one is denying that women generally prefer partners that are taller than them. What I’m denying is the prevalence of the problem.

            You’re not trying to attract all women. You’re trying to attract a partner. There’s a significant difference there that should be recognized a little more imo.