I can’t. I’m almost 50, and back then I deliberately picked a major that would lead to a career with a neutral or good impact. I make half the money I could have made, I enjoy my job, and I’m not part of the problem (well, or only as much as we have to, living under capitalism.)

Hmm. But you eat them both with a fork and knife. (And a panaché bien blanc, it’s law.)

Si tu me demandes de lister 100 sandwiches différents, jamais je ne citerais le croque-monsieur. Je crois que c’est parce qu’il ne devient croque-monsieur qu’une fois chauffé.

My mom, every time she needs to re-enter her Gmail password: “I’m pretty sure there’s never been a password on my email thing.”

Oh dear. Had this friend, J. She was an artist and taught classes for kids. My kid started her class when J and I were already friend.
A few months later we were supposed to co-host a big New Year’s Eve party for a bunch of our friends. J was moving, had job troubles, she bailed on the party the week before–didn’t help, didn’t even come. I was annoyed but I could understand.
In the same time period my kid decides she won’t re-enroll on J’s class because… well, because she’s 7 and she got bored. I try calling J to let her know. 15 times as I recall it, let’s say 7 times because I may be wrong. She doesn’t return my calls. I have other things in my mind and eventually forgets about it.
Two weeks later, first art lesson of the new year, Kid doesn’t go. Two minutes after the lesson ends, J is calling me screaming that I forbade Kid to come back because I was angry about the misses New Year’s Eve party.
Nothing I said could convince her otherwise, and my numerous “I should have told you, I tried to, I called you 10+ times and you never called me back, and then it was the holidays and it slipped my mind” could have been in Ancient Greek for all the good they did.
It’s been 4 years. Small town. To this day she crosses the road to avoid me. She’s telling people I’m a terrible mother and person.

But like, seriously. I’ve been (mostly jokingly) begging my husband’s girlfriend to move in for a decade. Daily life would be SO MUCH easier with 3 adults at home.