I appreciate having two bathrooms. We can poop at the same time!

Plus the bathroom by the bedrooms is the one that hides all our shame. The one near the living room is whimsical and slutty – the exact takeaway about us I want guests to have.
(It’s got a lot of cartoon boobs and butts in there, some interracial sapphic mermaid art, a small painting done in the style of classic “ship art” of a penis breaching the waves like a whale. And of course the toilet has both Moby Dick and the 1970’s photo-illustrated version of “The Joy of Sex” for reading materials.)

It also makes sense if he’s manipulating the stock market.

I wonder who sold off their oil futures yesterday afternoon and bought stocks.

Gluing hooks to their foreheads sounds like something that budget cosplayer would do to make a Loki costume.