No salt?

That’s numberwang!

Wait, why isn’t the author’s name scrubbed off? We’re giving them credit now??? (/s, just in case)

I’ve never met a pro-lifer that didn’t celebrate their day of birth instead of their day of conception.

B.C. had its moments for sure, I still think about the one where they find fresh lava and put fake dinosaur/monster prints in it to fuck with people in the future.

It also says he’s a “normal human teenager,” which he clearly is not.

Oh that’s easy, crisis actors, that father never existed

Actually if you swallow a carrot whole like that, there’s a good chance it comes out unscathed (assuming it comes out).