It’s too late to swipe left.

It’s probably a magazine that’s associated with some kind of clothing store. It says on the cover that the articles in the magazine are for sale in the store.

1. ケチャップをよこせ！
2. ケチャップをくれよ！
3. ケチャップを、今すぐ！
4. ケチャップがどうしても必要だ！
5. ケチャップをくれ、さもないと殺すぞ！
6. ケチャップ野郎は誰だ？ケチャップを持ってこい！
7. ケチャップが出るまであと３秒。その後、クソ野郎どもを殺し始めるぞ！
8. お前は私のケチャップ奴隷だ。今すぐケチャップをくれ、さもないとお前の家族を殺すぞ。お願いします。

Using 私 in example 8 instead of オレ様 might look like a mistake but you have to understand that this is formal Japanese. In these sorts of situations everyone is armed to the teeth and one wrong word can lead to a massacre.

One time while attending a nomikai I drank before my senior and was beaten within an inch of my life. As they were about to finish me off with a rocket launcher my senpai swallowed a grenade on my behalf, excused himself and blew up outside the izakaya, this was fortunately enough for the senior to spare my life.

I am forever indebted to Suzuki-san for his noble sacrifice. Please use the above phrases well and you might survive and even thrive in Japan.

I’m writing this message from my hospital bed where I am waiting to have 50 chopsticks removed from my rectum (unrelated incident). Thank you again, Suzuki-san. I know you are watching over me from above in heaven.

Now I’m wondering how they make money to buy pizzas

The only thing I’m wondering about is how they can cook pizzas in the sewer without getting carbon monoxide poisoning. Or do they buy regular pizzas and add the jellybeans later?

Bruh, America was fucked from the start. Let’s not forget what they did to Native Americans. The Nazi’s weren’t being taken in, they were coming home.