You might try CachyOS. Comes built in, still Arch based, and Cachy kernel is known for roughly a 10 fps improvement for gaming.

I recommend learning about Arch… Hear me out…

Arch is rolling release, I get it, it’s a little more unstable than what sounds very much like Debian. I solve this using btrfs and snapper. Makes it take a snapshots every hour automatically, and also takes a snapshot before and after package updates. I had to use it once, but that was an issue with QT updates which required me to rebuild some software(end-4 hyprland/quickshell). Which leads me into the next part.

The Arch user repository. Ultimately this is just a git instant for users sharing code. But there is also a command line till for it to make it even easier. That tool is yay. Yay will automatically handle all build dependencies and removing them if needed once the build is complete. I primarily use the AUR for building things in to last to do myself, like linux-cachyos. Such a tool would be quite beneficial to you on any distribution and while I’ve heard of it being used on something like Fedora, I haven’t heard of it on Debian.

You like testing your ass on your ass? Jackass.

Legitimately cool toilet, I’m actually the jackass here. I do have questions though, how money lids/seats does that toilet have?

Yeah, after reading your whole post, I don’t understand why you are so frustrated.

You mention finding a Linux compatible laptop, but it doesn’t seem hard. I didn’t even go the thinkpad route, I got an IdeaPad. And even afterwards, I swapped it for a OneXPlayer. On top of that I have two XPS’s running Arch. And that’s just laptops, I also built a gaming PC for it. And I have a docker host plus a dual socket hypervisor both running Linux.

I just don’t feel like it is particularly hard to find a Linux compatible laptop, sure I had to update a wireless card to use my Bluetooth 5.3 headset, but beyond that I simply haven’t had an issue. In terms of a convertible laptop, check out the company I linked the product I got may suit you, or if it is too small look at the Super. Even way it is literally an x86_64 tablet with a magnetic keyboard.

Edit: fair warning, the display is top right (1600x2560) and I had to rotate it via limine Linux kernel parameters and hyprland. Also, it doesn’t like cachyos for the same reason. Arch with linux-cachyos via chaotic aur? That works fine. No idea what breaks it, but I rather like omarchy anyways and didn’t wanna change back.