Completely understand, if you don’t want to leave you shouldn’t have to! Home is a powerful thing. I hope you can be successful and happy where you are, with community and kindness around you and that your parents respect your decision.

Haha, I feel that, I’ve lived in a few places that had “aspirational DIY” previous owners. I think there is a difference between a house where someone died and one where they were murdered though, for a lot of folks. One is just a natural part of the life cycle, the other is a lot more haunted, you know?

I have a friend who immigrated to the US, and then moved to Canada and became a citizen there. He likes it much better, he never wants to come back to the US haha. Maybe you could get your parents to switch to Canada or somewhere else instead if they don’t want to give up on this? I live in the US and I personally cannot recommend immigrating here, especially right now.

The (not) secret is that the thing they’re getting done is mining you for data. :D

But if you do everything yourself then how will they steal your data? :(

Right, I had a friend who had a cop show up to their house because… their grass was too long. Absolutely unhinged.

I never said anything about being anti-sex so I think you’re having an argument with someone that isn’t me, hope you feel better.

See that’s the thing - again, need for sex and need for emotional intimacy aren’t the same thing. The propaganda that says they are is why those boys are both horny and sad - they’re trying to meet two drives at once and failing both because of this misunderstanding. If they were emotionally stable and had community and belongingness, it’d actually be a lot easier for them to get laid and their mental health would also be way better.

Yes, due to a variety of factors, people are more isolated right now than they have ever been throughout history. It’s a real problem and since the underlying factors are systemic, it is going to be very difficult to turn around.

It’s not just if your spouse might divorce you, it’s that putting all your emotional weight on a single person is 1) destined to cause problems, 2) not actually how human beings are supposed to work. We’re highly evolved hypersocial pack predators. Different individuals have different levels of social need, but we do need it. Our brains are wired to hold iirc about 150 people in it for basic socializing - not all of those are going to be deep meaningful friendships, but even the acquaintances help us meet that social need of belonging and acceptance. So many men are essentially taught that their wife is their only emotional outlet, and that showing vulnerability with “the boys” is not acceptable and also possibly dangerous. And then they wonder why they feel unfulfilled - of course they do, you can’t put all that on one person, no matter how close you are with them.

Agreed. It’s dangerous to conflate emotional intimacy and sex - they aren’t the same thing and pretending they are is part of what got us into this mess imo.

Why are we conflating emotional intimacy and sex? They aren’t the same thing. The fact that men are often taught that they are the same thing is part of why there is a loneliness epidemic.