the lighter
thelighter.thecomicseries.com
Chp 1_001

Hi this is my comic, its about late 1800s europe, psychological warfare mixed with witchcraft and folktale. For a better reading experience click scroll view

    • Statick@programming.devEnglish
      1·
      15 days ago

      Chapter 1

      • Page 3, the use of “huh” is a bit odd here. Usually “huh” is associated with questioning something or uncertainty/not understanding. I think maybe “hey” or “here” might work better?
      • Page 12, typo “congratelate” should be “congratulate”
      • Page 17, the text goes outside the bubble
      • Page 24, there is a typo “envolved” should be “involved”

      I don’t normally read these types of comics/stories in this format but your drawing style interested me and I’m intrigued by the story now. Very well done!

      • gog@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
        1·
        15 days ago

        Much appreciation. For “huh” he was catching his breath (sfx), what do u think i should replace it with?

        • Statick@programming.devEnglish
          1·
          15 days ago

          Ah, I see. I think just breaking up the text might work better. Add a panel with the father hunched over with his hands on his knees… Then the next panel he speaks. Your visuals are so good/expressive I think it would get the point across.