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I always say “flock of cows” to bait someone into saying “herd of cows” so that I can say “of course I’ve heard of cows!” Watching their faces is priceless.
I do this from time to time but with bison. I will casually slip “flock of bison” into a conversation hoping someone corrects me to “herd of bison”. So I can say. “No I hadn’t heard about your bi son. You must be so proud.”
Thank you for the new material to annoy my fiancé with every time we see cows.
there’s a chance the flock of cows would just pass me by unnoticed as i wrangle the conversation in my head and then hours later i realize something off about it in the shower or in bed
Before I was a dad, I would say a lot of these ironically, fully aware of and referencing the cliche. Now, they’re just part of me.
That’s how they getcha.
I am quite surprised how many Lemmy users have such high scores on the dadness meter.
I am dad of two and I perceive myself as a pretty square, but I have near to 0 points.
Hi "quite surprised how many Lemmy users have such high scores on the dadness meter.
I am dad of two and I perceive myself as a pretty square, but I have near to 0 points."
I’m dad!
I feel personally attacked
As someone who used to work in retail, if I’m ever caught saying “guess it’s free then,” I sincerely hope everyone in the store immediately stops what they’re doing to form an orderly line to take turns slapping the piss out of me.
“Nope, actually means it’s not for sale. Sorry.”
The shocked pikachu face they make is fucking priceless
In my experience, they usually take the counter-dad joke in stride, and we move on (sometimes they do make an obviously exaggerated expression as part of the joke). I’m probably an outlier, but I’ve always found “that means it’s free” quaint if just really trite; it’s just trying to be friendly and make my monotonous day a little more fun, and I understand from their perspective that it isn’t conspicuously overused. So I take the joke for its intent (I’ve never seen it used seriously, and imagining a remotely sane human being doing so strains credulity) instead of its actual novelty or cleverness. I will never make it because it’s so worn-out and I know it’ll make most people in retail groan, but I don’t begrudge people who do, since I’ve never seen it used in a sincerely harassing, negative way.
8, and I’m a woman without children 🤔
Sure thing. I know its you dad
Keep practicing, get those numbers up, and next thing you know, you’ll have a wife and two offspring!
I refuse to use any of these.
Instead I like to come up with my own new ones.Like when someone comes back in right away after forgetting something.
I’m like: “Finally! Do you know how worried I’ve been?”My go to is “see you on Monday”
They walk back in
“Good morning, how was the weekend?”
I like to yell “HEY!” and point at a field full of hay bales. The wife almost always looks briefly concerned until she sees it, and then gives me the “a-doy” look. I think she secretly loves it though.
Ouch… 18/20
Edit: They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
That’s because that’s an everyone thing, not just dads. I have done this since I was old enough to hold them.
Does “look, cows” count?
Yes, but the real dad thing is to say that when you see horses, and say “look, horses” when there are cows.
One time I saw horses and got really excited but forgot the word for them so I excitedly yelled “PUPPIES!”
My family never let me live that down. It’s been over 5 years now, and they still tease me by saying “look, Mom, puppies!” while pointing at horses.
This is a great story coming from the person that runs most animal communities on Lemmy lmao
Don’t forget the mandatory testing of the drill in the air.
Zing zing!
Gotta do it twice to be sure.
The last one requires you to pat the load three times or the magic doesn’t work.
Fuck, I only pat it twice.
Alternatively, you can pull back and snap the strap/cord.
No you snap the strap/cord, but it still requires two pats, though the pats can be subdued with palm resting on the object and only the fingers doing the patting while you slightly lean against the object to subtly prove your point.
Eight-ish? Dad of two nearing fifty so I guess I’m on par for the course.
One is discovered thanks to US memes is the dad uniform including New Balance. I bought some NB when I was in China and I have to say they really are comfy.
The one about awkward loads is hilarious to me. Because it really is true though. You can lift a shit ton more if you’ve a good grip! I can hardly lift a washing machine, but I can carry one on my back without issue.
You’re about to have 48 more kids?
No, there’s two kids who are both about to turn 50. Dad is of unknown age.
