Boomers have the time of their life these days, making up stories and having all the attention
If I were to get married, it’d be the cheapest way possible. If my partner were to prefer an expensive wedding, we wouldn’t be getting married in the first place anyway.
My husband and I got married in our backyard with just our immediate family in attendance (10 folks in total - my brother was our officiant), but we livestreamed it for others that wanted to see. I found a legit wedding dress for $70 and didnt bother with alterations cause it fit fine enough and I was only gonna wear it for several hours. I built the wedding arch we got married under, my mama did my hair and makeup, and my mama-in-law and sister-in-law cooked our reception food.
We “got away with it” because it was during the quarantine period of the pandemic (NYE 2020). Even though my mom was pretty pissed at me for not having a real wedding, this is the way.
Asking a dad for permission to marry a woman is fucking disgusting and needs to go away. Women aren’t property. Children aren’t property. Fucking toxic shit.
Also boomer-ass “wife bad.”
It’s more like “can I be in your family” now a days. If my wife’s dad said no, I would’ve still married her. But knowing that I’m accepted into their family is nice.
If that’s the question, why is it always the father they ask?
It’s not. I asked their mother. But asked isn’t even really the right word. I discussed proposing to their child with them first out of empathy, courtesy, respect, just plain demonstrating the ability to have real life adult conversations. I think using the idiom of “Asking for permission” really has some pedants in this thread in a twist.
That’s a nice personal anecdote. But your personal experience has no bearing on the general pervasive attitude that been dragged on from the days when women were in fact legally the property of their fathers and then husbands.
Of course this attitude has changed and evolved over time, but it’s still an attitude born from a place of extreme sexism and misogyny. And the amount of men who will ask a fathers permission or expect to be asked for permission for their daughter still comes from a place of still treating women as something to be possessive over due to their gender, is way to damned high.
Your personal experience doesn’t change the existence of the pervasive attitude of women being possessions.
A marriage is between two people and their families. It’s always personal and anecdotal. Fighting the patriarchy and gender stereotypes doesn’t always happen on grand civic scales, it happens in many many boring everyday personal anecdotal interactions.
One of the few actually true and relatable stories found in the wild.
Posting this online… is ‘the wife’ locked up without contact to other people and without internet access?
What are you imagining would happen if the wife found out? Likely, the husband told the wife about this whole thing the next time he talked to her. I take it you’ve never been married?
“Hello everyone I know: Just wanted to let you all know that my daughter’s boyfriend is planning to ask her to marry him, but hasn’t done it yet. Like, comment, and subscribe if you agree that we should keep this hush-hush!”
