It’s more like “can I be in your family” now a days. If my wife’s dad said no, I would’ve still married her. But knowing that I’m accepted into their family is nice.
It’s not. I asked their mother. But asked isn’t even really the right word. I discussed proposing to their child with them first out of empathy, courtesy, respect, just plain demonstrating the ability to have real life adult conversations. I think using the idiom of “Asking for permission” really has some pedants in this thread in a twist.
That’s a nice personal anecdote. But your personal experience has no bearing on the general pervasive attitude that been dragged on from the days when women were in fact legally the property of their fathers and then husbands.
Of course this attitude has changed and evolved over time, but it’s still an attitude born from a place of extreme sexism and misogyny. And the amount of men who will ask a fathers permission or expect to be asked for permission for their daughter still comes from a place of still treating women as something to be possessive over due to their gender, is way to damned high.
Your personal experience doesn’t change the existence of the pervasive attitude of women being possessions.
A marriage is between two people and their families. It’s always personal and anecdotal. Fighting the patriarchy and gender stereotypes doesn’t always happen on grand civic scales, it happens in many many boring everyday personal anecdotal interactions.
Amongst my kin it’s usually less the dad in particular and moreso that the dad is the embassador for the rest of the men of the family. Basically doing a check before the proper introductions, the women folks have their own rituals.
If you want anything other than personal anecdotes then you might have better luck doing a study than asking people in a forum. Most people just have their personal anecdotes and personal speculation.
It’s more like “can I be in your family” now a days. If my wife’s dad said no, I would’ve still married her. But knowing that I’m accepted into their family is nice.
If that’s the question, why is it always the father they ask?
It’s not. I asked their mother. But asked isn’t even really the right word. I discussed proposing to their child with them first out of empathy, courtesy, respect, just plain demonstrating the ability to have real life adult conversations. I think using the idiom of “Asking for permission” really has some pedants in this thread in a twist.
That’s a nice personal anecdote. But your personal experience has no bearing on the general pervasive attitude that been dragged on from the days when women were in fact legally the property of their fathers and then husbands.
Of course this attitude has changed and evolved over time, but it’s still an attitude born from a place of extreme sexism and misogyny. And the amount of men who will ask a fathers permission or expect to be asked for permission for their daughter still comes from a place of still treating women as something to be possessive over due to their gender, is way to damned high.
Your personal experience doesn’t change the existence of the pervasive attitude of women being possessions.
A marriage is between two people and their families. It’s always personal and anecdotal. Fighting the patriarchy and gender stereotypes doesn’t always happen on grand civic scales, it happens in many many boring everyday personal anecdotal interactions.
Most likely patriarchal society bs. I asked both parents.
Amongst my kin it’s usually less the dad in particular and moreso that the dad is the embassador for the rest of the men of the family. Basically doing a check before the proper introductions, the women folks have their own rituals.
Good for you and whatever culture you come from. But your personal anecdote is more or less irrelevant to the discussion at hand.
If you want anything other than personal anecdotes then you might have better luck doing a study than asking people in a forum. Most people just have their personal anecdotes and personal speculation.