Also, fuck parents who don’t pay child support for their own kids.
I can’t wholeheartedly agree with this statement, only because it puts the onus on the lowest rung involved parties.
Instead, I believe “fuck governments that don’t provide enough support for a single parent to comfortably raise a kid.”
I don’t have kids, I don’t want to have kids, but I also don’t want to live in a world where a kid could starve or succumb to the elements because their parents weren’t ready to have or raise a child. If a parent who doesn’t pay child support means that their child’s well-being is negatively affected, then a child with only one living parent could experience the same negative effects. Why should any single parent, or child of a single parent feel stress due to the absence of a single-entity third party?
Working in education, I frequently meet parents who don’t want to be parents, and shouldn’t be parents. I met people who believe that financial support equals ownership, and only continue harming their children because of mandated financial responsibilities. I meet single parents who are legitimately glad that the other party doesn’t pay child support, because it equals freedom from oppression or abuse for the parent and child.
This comment kinda sounds like I’m attacking you, and I apologize for that, it’s not my intent. My intent is to break as many people as possible from the belief that it’s okay that raising a child costs two incomes. Raising a child should cost zero incomes, so that the people raising a child can experience the child as just a child and never a financial burden. I can’t even say “fuck parents who don’t help out,” because there are plenty of parents who I don’t want to see involved at all.
I meet single parents who are legitimately glad that the other party doesn’t pay child support, because it equals freedom from oppression or abuse for the parent and child.
I’m wondering where you are, since afaik, support and visitation/custody are generally separated.
Texas, and you are mostly correct. The people who say this are usually the ones who got full custody, no visitations, and the spouse stopped sending checks or quit their job out of spite. I’ve heard the remaining parent say that they’ll gladly give up child support if it means that they never have to think about their ex again.
Back to the Texas part, and why you’re “mostly” correct. Because it’s Texas: where the wife is always wrong and the laws only protect those for whom it is enforced. Also, who are the police gonna trust? The overreacting parent who keeps calling them, or the one who always says they weren’t doing anything?
“Oops, send out another Amber alert. The parent really should have said something if they knew this was gonna happen. Also, we would have been more likely to believe them if they didn’t keep telling us all the time that this was going to happen.”
Back to the Texas part, and why you’re “mostly” correct. Because it’s Texas: where the wife is always wrong and the laws only protect those for whom it is enforced. Also, who are the police gonna trust? The overreacting parent who keeps calling them, or the one who always says they weren’t doing anything?
“Oops, send out another Amber alert. The parent really should have said something if they knew this was gonna happen. Also, we would have been more likely to believe them if they didn’t keep telling us all the time that this was going to happen.”
I’m in the Deep South, so yes, in cases of narcissistic abuse, crazymaking behavior is real, and the courts are just shit about it, even women judges and women on the juries (there’s also the whole Bible Belt submissive women bullshit). Adding that 70+% of cops are (probably under) self-Reporter domestic/child abusers and it gets ugly as all Dante’s circles of Hell. Which is why visitation being separate from child support is used here, for the most part.
Edit for terrible manners: thanks so much for a thoughtful, in-depth reply.
Most tools can harm or help. I hope after the collapse of this fake ivory tower built on a sloppily built and crumbling foundation, we can lay a solid foundation and build something designed to be a solid shelter where we can heal the wounds we’ve inflicted on ourselves and other nations.
Didn’t expect to have my opinion changed on child support payments today. You make very excellent points. Thank you for providing me with a different perspective.
Nah, you’re good, I don’t feel attacked and I totally get where you are coming from. I don’t actually disagree with you, I think there should be more support for children and parents.
My comment is more a knee jerk reaction to “parents” like my father who decided it was more important to feed his affair partner’s 4 children over his own, even though they had child support from their father. He argued in court to reduce child support for his own 2 kids because he had 4 other kids at home to feed.
Yes, the government should step up in situations like that and there needs to be better support systems. I think breakfast, lunch, and sometimes even dinner should be provided at schools and kids shouldn’t have to ever pay for it. And this is coming from a woman who has never and will never have children. No kid should ever go hungry, period.
I’ll modify my comment to: Fuck the kinds of parents like my dad.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, and fuck your dad indeed. While I spent my previous comment railing against the institution vs the individual, I now see your comment as railing against the individual who does not use the established institution.
That’s one of those “you would have helped more if you’d tried less,” kind of scenarios. I’ll never understand a parent who will punish children for their own choices.
I hope that you’re doing better now, and I hope that telling your experiences helps to prevent or end even one situation similar to yours.
It’s all good. Probably didn’t help that my comment was pretty generic, I can see why you mentioned what you did and I totally agree with you.
I’m good now, just get a little bitter at times. He died of a non-inheritable cancer a few years ago and I felt more empathy that my Aunts lost their brother than anything. It’s been 30 years since he was around, so it’s hard to care much.
I honestly do hope someone reads my comment and rethinks how they treat their daughter some day. Just don’t be a dick to your kid and take care of them.
Have yourself a good day and tell those kids to read more books lol
I can’t wholeheartedly agree with this statement, only because it puts the onus on the lowest rung involved parties.
Instead, I believe “fuck governments that don’t provide enough support for a single parent to comfortably raise a kid.”
I don’t have kids, I don’t want to have kids, but I also don’t want to live in a world where a kid could starve or succumb to the elements because their parents weren’t ready to have or raise a child. If a parent who doesn’t pay child support means that their child’s well-being is negatively affected, then a child with only one living parent could experience the same negative effects. Why should any single parent, or child of a single parent feel stress due to the absence of a single-entity third party?
Working in education, I frequently meet parents who don’t want to be parents, and shouldn’t be parents. I met people who believe that financial support equals ownership, and only continue harming their children because of mandated financial responsibilities. I meet single parents who are legitimately glad that the other party doesn’t pay child support, because it equals freedom from oppression or abuse for the parent and child.
This comment kinda sounds like I’m attacking you, and I apologize for that, it’s not my intent. My intent is to break as many people as possible from the belief that it’s okay that raising a child costs two incomes. Raising a child should cost zero incomes, so that the people raising a child can experience the child as just a child and never a financial burden. I can’t even say “fuck parents who don’t help out,” because there are plenty of parents who I don’t want to see involved at all.
I’m wondering where you are, since afaik, support and visitation/custody are generally separated.
Texas, and you are mostly correct. The people who say this are usually the ones who got full custody, no visitations, and the spouse stopped sending checks or quit their job out of spite. I’ve heard the remaining parent say that they’ll gladly give up child support if it means that they never have to think about their ex again.
Back to the Texas part, and why you’re “mostly” correct. Because it’s Texas: where the wife is always wrong and the laws only protect those for whom it is enforced. Also, who are the police gonna trust? The overreacting parent who keeps calling them, or the one who always says they weren’t doing anything?
“Oops, send out another Amber alert. The parent really should have said something if they knew this was gonna happen. Also, we would have been more likely to believe them if they didn’t keep telling us all the time that this was going to happen.”
I’m in the Deep South, so yes, in cases of narcissistic abuse, crazymaking behavior is real, and the courts are just shit about it, even women judges and women on the juries (there’s also the whole Bible Belt submissive women bullshit). Adding that 70+% of cops are (probably under) self-Reporter domestic/child abusers and it gets ugly as all Dante’s circles of Hell. Which is why visitation being separate from child support is used here, for the most part.
Edit for terrible manners: thanks so much for a thoughtful, in-depth reply.
Used and abused. Gotta love how we turn every shield into a weapon against those who need it.
Most tools can harm or help. I hope after the collapse of this fake ivory tower built on a sloppily built and crumbling foundation, we can lay a solid foundation and build something designed to be a solid shelter where we can heal the wounds we’ve inflicted on ourselves and other nations.
Didn’t expect to have my opinion changed on child support payments today. You make very excellent points. Thank you for providing me with a different perspective.
Sad I could help, but glad you got a new perspective out of it.
Nah, you’re good, I don’t feel attacked and I totally get where you are coming from. I don’t actually disagree with you, I think there should be more support for children and parents.
My comment is more a knee jerk reaction to “parents” like my father who decided it was more important to feed his affair partner’s 4 children over his own, even though they had child support from their father. He argued in court to reduce child support for his own 2 kids because he had 4 other kids at home to feed.
Yes, the government should step up in situations like that and there needs to be better support systems. I think breakfast, lunch, and sometimes even dinner should be provided at schools and kids shouldn’t have to ever pay for it. And this is coming from a woman who has never and will never have children. No kid should ever go hungry, period.
I’ll modify my comment to: Fuck the kinds of parents like my dad.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, and fuck your dad indeed. While I spent my previous comment railing against the institution vs the individual, I now see your comment as railing against the individual who does not use the established institution.
That’s one of those “you would have helped more if you’d tried less,” kind of scenarios. I’ll never understand a parent who will punish children for their own choices.
I hope that you’re doing better now, and I hope that telling your experiences helps to prevent or end even one situation similar to yours.
It’s all good. Probably didn’t help that my comment was pretty generic, I can see why you mentioned what you did and I totally agree with you.
I’m good now, just get a little bitter at times. He died of a non-inheritable cancer a few years ago and I felt more empathy that my Aunts lost their brother than anything. It’s been 30 years since he was around, so it’s hard to care much.
I honestly do hope someone reads my comment and rethinks how they treat their daughter some day. Just don’t be a dick to your kid and take care of them.
Have yourself a good day and tell those kids to read more books lol