Sorry but you seem to be arrogant about how sociable other people naturally are. Good for you if you had many friends to do interesting things with and never felt bored, but I find it hurtful that you think not having those traits is to be shunned. You don’t owe internet strangers entertainment, but is it such a crime that you need to rant about it decades after the fact?
The trait to be shunned in that is the trait of pushing your entertainment off on others.
When someone’s entire engagement is “I’m bored”, the unspoken follow-up is “entertain me”. This generation loves to go on and on and on about “emotional labour”. Well guess what: that unspoken “entertain me” is, get this, emotional labour.
Perhaps the people who say “I’m bored” should be told what I was told when I was single-digit aged: “There’s no such thing as being bored, only being boring.”
You’re reading malintent into an innocent phrase. They could be subtly asking to be let in a friend group or just venting. There are many ways you could respond to such a sentence besides giving them entertainment.
If you don’t have the slight bit of emotional availability to engage with them just don’t. It’s cringe to then go ranting about the time a boring person dared engaging with you and you stopped talking to them because you had so many friends.
Edit: To make my point clear, it’s not that one has to engage the person in question. But focusing on how doing so affects them without a hint of understanding that it’s the other person clearly in need of something is an indication of their own emotional immaturity. If you help someone in need you can brag. If you don’t because you don’t have the resources to help nobody can blame you, but you don’t get to be upset they asked.
I never had many friends to do interesting things with. I talked to people online when it was still new and shiny, and I was a teenager, with the energy to socialize in a way I sure can’t today. It was a different world - sometimes people would make a group MSN chat with a number of people and we’d just get to know each other through those mutual friends, who lived all around the world. Rarely did I have a group in person to do things with. I spent a lot of time alone, cultivating my own interests and skills. I didn’t “shun” anyone, I just had to choose how to spend my limited time and energy after school. Would you rather talk with someone that responds to your ideas and thoughtfully considers them, or someone who brushes everything off just to come back to saying, “I’m bored” no matter how much you try to engage them?
It’s also strange to categorize what I said as a “rant.” I was reminded of something from the past and I mentioned it in a comment that was along the same lines, remembering how I felt about it at the time. That’s hardly a rant.
I understand, I see that you had no bad intentions. As an asocial and regularly bored kid myself (even if not in this particular manner) it just made me sad that I might be remembered by people in a negative light even decades later
Aww, I understand. I was an extremely awkward kid myself and have had those worries. If it helps, most people don’t recall the minutiae of our uncomfortable moments, if they remember anything about them at all.
Also, I still value the person who told me he was bored all the time. I wouldn’t have kept him on my friends’ list if I didn’t. I don’t talk to him today, but that’s because of diverging life paths and the distance it creates. If we’d still lived around each other, perhaps we’d still be in contact.
Either way, I try not to worry about what people thought of me as a teen. I’ve grown, they’ve grown (hopefully), and if they did then I imagine even they look back at their teenage selves and cringe. You’re not the same person you used to be, and you should be proud of the strides you’ve taken to come this far. ♥️
Sorry but you seem to be arrogant about how sociable other people naturally are. Good for you if you had many friends to do interesting things with and never felt bored, but I find it hurtful that you think not having those traits is to be shunned. You don’t owe internet strangers entertainment, but is it such a crime that you need to rant about it decades after the fact?
Edit: Wording
The trait to be shunned in that is the trait of pushing your entertainment off on others.
When someone’s entire engagement is “I’m bored”, the unspoken follow-up is “entertain me”. This generation loves to go on and on and on about “emotional labour”. Well guess what: that unspoken “entertain me” is, get this, emotional labour.
Perhaps the people who say “I’m bored” should be told what I was told when I was single-digit aged: “There’s no such thing as being bored, only being boring.”
You’re reading malintent into an innocent phrase. They could be subtly asking to be let in a friend group or just venting. There are many ways you could respond to such a sentence besides giving them entertainment.
If you don’t have the slight bit of emotional availability to engage with them just don’t. It’s cringe to then go ranting about the time a boring person dared engaging with you and you stopped talking to them because you had so many friends.
Edit: To make my point clear, it’s not that one has to engage the person in question. But focusing on how doing so affects them without a hint of understanding that it’s the other person clearly in need of something is an indication of their own emotional immaturity. If you help someone in need you can brag. If you don’t because you don’t have the resources to help nobody can blame you, but you don’t get to be upset they asked.
They didn’t ask, is the point. They just said “I’m bored”.
I never had many friends to do interesting things with. I talked to people online when it was still new and shiny, and I was a teenager, with the energy to socialize in a way I sure can’t today. It was a different world - sometimes people would make a group MSN chat with a number of people and we’d just get to know each other through those mutual friends, who lived all around the world. Rarely did I have a group in person to do things with. I spent a lot of time alone, cultivating my own interests and skills. I didn’t “shun” anyone, I just had to choose how to spend my limited time and energy after school. Would you rather talk with someone that responds to your ideas and thoughtfully considers them, or someone who brushes everything off just to come back to saying, “I’m bored” no matter how much you try to engage them?
It’s also strange to categorize what I said as a “rant.” I was reminded of something from the past and I mentioned it in a comment that was along the same lines, remembering how I felt about it at the time. That’s hardly a rant.
I understand, I see that you had no bad intentions. As an asocial and regularly bored kid myself (even if not in this particular manner) it just made me sad that I might be remembered by people in a negative light even decades later
Aww, I understand. I was an extremely awkward kid myself and have had those worries. If it helps, most people don’t recall the minutiae of our uncomfortable moments, if they remember anything about them at all.
Also, I still value the person who told me he was bored all the time. I wouldn’t have kept him on my friends’ list if I didn’t. I don’t talk to him today, but that’s because of diverging life paths and the distance it creates. If we’d still lived around each other, perhaps we’d still be in contact.
Either way, I try not to worry about what people thought of me as a teen. I’ve grown, they’ve grown (hopefully), and if they did then I imagine even they look back at their teenage selves and cringe. You’re not the same person you used to be, and you should be proud of the strides you’ve taken to come this far. ♥️