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“Testicular torsion casters are always acting tough, right up until a wizard casts [MEND BUTT-CRACK]!”
You rapscallion!
“HA! Try shitting out of there, Smooth Arse!”
Can’t you just drill a new one?
Well, Actually:
Yes, the result of the Mend Buttcrack spell would be an acquired anorectal malformation, for which there are several surgical repairs. I don’t think those account for loose angry wizards though, so long-term effects may be uncertain.
