Cartoonist had to be OSHA compliant.

Penis cannot stay erect in this environment. Please send help.

Isn’t it perfectly normal to wear a tattered blue napkin as a skirt, as long as you’re wearing thigh-high socks?

As an American with no social skills whatsoever, I get confused & annoyed when people offer me a beverage when I arrive at their house. Like why do they think I’m suddenly thirsty?

I see the problem here. Eggplants need water to survive. He’s clearly having a total breakdown due to his poor nutritional choices. Drink water.

I’ve heard that maga prayers on his behalf are forming protection around him, making him stronger every time witches try to cast spells on him to hasten his demise.

I know someone who earns six figures who can’t spell, doesn’t know that he’s Caucasian, doesn’t know the difference between Chinese and Japanese people, thinks it’s a fine idea to sit in a swimming pool during a lightning storm, and once wrote a $1000 check to himself, thinking the bank would honor it and he’d suddenly have an extra $1000 in the bank.

DammmmDmmmmy

What I enjoy about being a woman is 2026 is I am free to come & go as I please, have my own bank accounts & credit cards, responsible & accountable for my own self & my own money & I don’t have to answer to anyone,

but it sucks that I don’t have any other option.

I can’t just sit at home and have someone take care of me for the rest of my life. Because deep deep down, no matter what gender you are, you gotta admit, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone take care of you while all you have to do is sit around being sexy all day? 😜

The government needs to waste as much as possible every fiscal year, to ensure their budget each successive fiscal year continues to provide an overabundance of funds.

I like the businesses that ask you for your email address and they send you a code and then you put that code into their box and they do a new one every time like that, so there’s never a password required.

When I first started this job they did not tell me this food was deducted from our paycheck whether or not we even step foot into the cafeteria, so when I looked at my pay stub a few months into my employment, was a little surprised but then realized based on what I’ve learned about human nature over the years, when people receive something for free they tend to appreciate it less, and abuse/misuse even disrespect such privileges, so I think it’s appropriate that we pay for this food. It only breaks down to $5.50 a day* for all you can eat buffet so it’s a pretty damn good deal as long as we use it because again, pretty sure they deduct the cafeteria fee from our paychecks whether or not we ever step foot in there.

• I did the math, I’ve only worked 28 days this year so far and they’ve deducted total $155.13 from my pay for the cafeteria this year so it breaks down to about $5.50 a day.

This job is at a m/billionaires club, so there’s a huge kitchen constantly churning out 5-star meals to the m/billionaires, with plenty overflowing to the employee cafeteria. But ain’t nothing come for free! We employees sacrifice $30 deducted per paycheck for this food.

Here’s the most recent photo in my camera roll 🤷🏼‍♀️. In fact it’s the ONLY photo currently on my camera roll since I moved everything to my external hard drive a couple days ago to free up memory. My job has employee buffet every day all day long, so here’s my lunch break and I was so glad they had leftover omelets & bacon from this morning and I was texting with my boyfriend and he asked me what I was doing so I took a picture of this to show him what I was doing at the moment: