Doesn’t matter who… colleague, family, partner etc all count
My wife and my relationship deteriorated majorly during COVID. Neither of us was a good partner to the other, and eventually she cheated. We separated, and I bought her her own place to live across the country. She almost immediately started seeing the guy she cheated on me with (don’t know why but i feel like it being a guy made it worse) and honestly I’m not sure how I made it through this time in my life.
He quickly turned out to be a paranoid conspiracy nut and she had to get a restraining order on him which he violated and the cops of course did nothing.
I helped her through all of this, and she took care of me when I had some surgeries and we’ve since been repairing our relationship for the last couple years. I’ve not fully forgiven her for the cheating and lying, but I understand how we got there
Oddly my parents had a very similar story. Stressors tore holes in their relationship, there was cheating, eventual divorce when I was five but they stayed in each others lives because kids. They both did some growing and eventually started hooking up when i was about 17…then moved back in together when I was in my 20’s…then remarried in my 30’s (on what would have been their original 40th anniversary). Original marriage lasted ten years, current one is at 14. Life spins strange journeys.
I grew apart with a friend who started spouting incel rhetoric. His last straw was hitting on the waitress during my birthday dinner despite people telling him how uncomfortable it made everyone involved.
We barely talked for about two years. When we got back together he had become a environmental activist, started dating a non-binary person and was taking DBT therapy to help with his emotional issues. I’d started therapy as well, which helped me get over some of my own shit and forgive him for falling down the dumbass rabbit hole.
We’ve been friends for fifteen years now and he’s on of my favorite people.
I have been interacting with new folks lately so i have improved my relationship from nothing/talking here and there to us wanting to do acticetys and stuff :)
That’s such a hard transition so it’s awesome you’re doing it!
Thanks we will have to see if it lasts tho
If not, it’s practice for the next one lol
My mother is an alcoholic and started drinking most when I was a teen. Our relationship suffered greatly for it. I pulled away in my young adult life. I still called every few months, but it was difficult and lots of guilt and anger.
I’m really happy that I maintained those calls. She got sober 5 years ago. We worked really hard at making time for each other after that and now we’re back to trying new foods together routinely (our old bonding activity!) and being much closer. Maybe not as close as we could have been, but I’m really grateful for the relationship we have now.
You’ve done really well getting that with her. Sometimes it’s not about having a great relationship it’s about having the best relationship you realistically can and I’m really glad you’ve done that
My Mom was in a really bad place while I was growing up and failed me and my siblings in a lot of ways that it took many years to correct, but she has since gone to therapy and has managed to get her life back together.
In my early twenties I didn’t want anything to do with her, but we’ve mended things between us and we’re a lot closer now. She’s come around to being incredibly supportive and a great Mom. I love her.
That’s amazing. I feel like very few shitty moms do the hard work on themselves. I’m so happy for you!
Both my brother and my dad I get along with significantly better after I moved several states away. Our relationship wasn’t bad necessarily but they both seemed to lean pretty hard on me for emotional support. I was already putting boundaries in place but the physical space has really made an impact in their brains which is great for me.
