Why or why not?
If so, would it depend on how they present or their assigned gender at birtb or something else?
(Edit: fixed AGAB to confuse less people. Sorry people.)
As someone with a non-binary partner I feel obligated to answer. Sure, I don’t really care what they were born as, as long as they’re polite and actually love me, I don’t really care if they’re non-binary or a woman (I could be biased though since I never dated a non-binary person who was birthed a male, my non-binary partner was born a woman so I don’t really know)
This is a messy but interesting question to sort my thoughts on. First, I did date a non-binary person for a couple years and ended things on good terms. I’m AMAB, they’re AFAB on testosterone. I’ll admit I felt a little weird as their transition took effect over time with thicker leg hair and a peach fuzz mustache.
Second, I’ve considered myself a sex-positive asexual person since I learned the term, so I’m not certain I should be answering this. I’ve always been confused when someone is called hot, but I like the mental/emotional intimacy and physical touch of sex. I’ve come to realize recently that I’d probably be okay being intimate with a woman or feminine partner with a dick, but since I would like to have kids some day it wouldn’t really work for a romantic relationship.
Third, that partner has half-jokingly said that you have to be a little gay to date them, so I don’t know that any person that would date a non-binary person can call themself 100% straight, which means technically nobody should be answering this question at all :P
Ace enby lesbian here. I generally feel the same way. I’m attracted to femininity, equipment really doesn’t factor into how I feel about a woman. Or about femme-presenting people in general. I just think girls are pretty.
To be fair, I don’t think I would date someone whose whole personality is just their gender…
Aside from that - depends who they are, how they behave etc.
As long as their physical anatomy was identical to my gender of choice, yes.
If we talk the same language and there is the spark of interest, I don’t see why not. non-binary is all about breaking these barriers, correct?
If that’s how they introduced themselves. No.
If I found this out on the 3rd or 4th date during a casual, related conversation. Sure.
Another form of this question is for married people, of if their spouse’s genitals one day just flipped inside-out or outside-in, would that be enough to end your relationship?
I love my partner so, so much, as she basically saved my life. And if she woke up tomorrow sporting a turgid member, I wouldn’t love her any less. In fact, quite far from a deal breaker. Even if she, out of nowhere, wanted bottom surgery, I would support her 100%. But, with that, presenting as the gender she does is what makes me attracted to her. My brain stem loves them good lady shapes, and the rest of my brain loves this individual lady in particular.
It’s a package deal, but of she had a package, that’s not part of the math for the deal.
Tbh. Am straight, and I wouldn’t date them, even if I’d find them attractive. Just because I don’t have time and nerves to deal with confusion of something so fundamental.
Likely not, though there are always exceptions.
Friends for sure. The big difference to me, between dating and being friends, is the level of physical intimacy and sexual attraction between the people in the relationship – and ideally, you want that to be a strong enough bond that you can rely on each other for those needs almost exclusively. I can’t realistically picture such a bond with a non binary person, similar to how I don’t think such a bond can be as exclusive/strong with someone who is ‘gender fluid’ (as it’d feel like I’d never live up to the expectations of a partner that wanted to physically/materially play around with both men and women, seeing as I’m just one of the two). I also find myself more attracted to certain generally more feminine characteristics, which would likely not work out well if the other person is non-binary – I wouldn’t want someone I cared about, changing/masking who they are, just for my benefit, so I wouldn’t want to put them into that sort of dilemma by pursuing a relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with being non-binary. There’s also nothing wrong with not being attracted to non-binary people.
Then again, my viewpoint has resulted in me being a single middle aged person with no real immediate family, and few close friends (they tend to go ‘poof’ once they find a wife/husband and start families). So being somewhat mindful of these things, may have negative results in the long run for most cis-folks. May be better to just hook up with anything with a pulse, and try to get some kids/connections by any means, if you don’t want to die alone. Throw every relationship at the wall and see what sticks – any hole’s a goal.
Maybe, idk. Probably if they would lean more to the masculine side.
I should add, that I do consider myself straight, but I would not 100% deny, that I Am maybe bisexual/pansexual.
Yeah of course, if they looked attractive to me and liked me back.
Like everything, it depends. But probably not, theres too much aggro around that sort of thing since it turned into a political football.
If I properly loved them then sure I’d put up with it, and learn all about it, but I dont relish the idea of drawing heat from bigots everywhere I go, and would rather not.
I never thought about it but yes, if they meet my other criteria for dating, being nonbinary wouldn’t rule anyone out. It’s just another personality trait.
I am so glad I don’t date cis straights, it sounds awful
Living up to your username I see lol. I don’t concern myself with tags, just the person. There are plenty of aweful cis straights to date, just as there are plenty of aweful queers to date. Being a toxic pos is not exactly tied to gender identity or sexual orientation thankfully, or unfortunately depending on how you want to look at it.
Honestly I’ve spent a good part of my career working with men specifically in acute mental health environments and 90% of the time when a man expresses a lack of sexual attraction I’m relieved. The other 10% is indifference, but the amount of times they yell at me about how ugly I am and I’m like “…good…!?”
Like tbh there’s a not insignificant chance I’m just a gay dude but like. I’m not in a rush to decide. And in the meantime if not looking how they think an AFAB should keeps more men able to interact with me nonsexually that’s basically 100% beneficial. And honestly women aren’t great either but they’re not usually pushy either (but on the rare occasions they are they’re way worse). Tbh that’s probably why I’m a gay dude bitches (in a romantic context) be crazy I just wanna drink a beer with my male bestie and talk about whether yeast or dogs have been symbiotic with humans longer.
I find this is a weird question. Everyone is going to be different. If the person is straight, then obviously they’re going to be more attracted to someone who presents on the feminine side. It’s all personal preference though.
As a straight man, I prefer my women to be more towards the tomboy side of things usually. I like really feminine looking women too, but I find the ones I’m most attracted towards look feminine but present more towards the masculine side.
Obviously all these terms are made up though. I would say anyone who isn’t a bigot would date a non-binary person if they match what they want. Genitals are obviously part of this, but presentation is made up. Your presentation just has to be something they like. If they like it then tbey like it. It shouldn’t be more complex than that. Someone being non-binary has nothing to do with that.
All this said, personality is obviously important. Someone can be attracted to you and not like your personality. I guess someone could not like the personality of people who are non-binary?
What is that last bit even supposed to mean…? Non binary people have just as many different and nuanced personalities as any other demographic. Thats like saying someone is fine for saying “i dont like the personality of people who are [black, men, tall, blonde, etc]”
Like preference is fine but saying its the personality of an entire demographic is wild
The last bit was there to say there’s no reason for this to be a question, except for people who hold that opinion. I agree, it doesn’t really make sense. I would mostly group them in with the bigots.
