She’s not just talking about financial expense, but emotional expense. We generally give friendship to receive friendship. A relationship where one person does all the giving and the other only takes, is considered toxic.
If she only gives but never gets, she just have the wrong friends.
Presents and emotional responces still work two ways for they are not limited to baby and engagement events. Nor does the relationship status of any person involved matter in any way.
This is such a weird response to me. Like people are naturally either good friends or bad ones, instead of flawed humans who tend to be focused on our own loves and experiences. All the OP is doing is reminding people to think outside of their own experiences to improve their relationships. Its not a personal attack, I wish everyone would unruffle their feathers.
And the answer that you just gave (and that I agree with) is . . . yes. We give friendship to get friendship. And yes, that looks different to different people. That is exactly what the OP is saying. If friend A has celebrated friend B’s wedding and babies and anniversaries, etc, but friend B hasn’t celebrated whatever milestones are important to friend A, it doesn’t necessarily mean friend B is a bad person or bad friend. It may just be that they hadn’t thought about celebrations outside of a very particular, traditional mindset.
On seeing this post, we can all ask ourselves, am I celebrating my friends in a way that is meaningful to them? Are they meeting my own emotional needs, or do I need to communicate more clearly to them? Have I even given thought to what my expectations or desires from my friends are?
I guess the disconnect is that I see posts like this as an opportunity for self-reflection and improvement. I still can’t tell from any of your comments what you find disagreeable about it.
I don’t understand your reply. What did I remove from context? The context was the post telling people to remember that our friends may have different life experiences than us and we should be sensitive to their emotional needs and celebrate them for their successes, even if they are on a different life track than us. We all get busy and tend toward self-focus, it’s good to have these kind of reminders.
She’s not just talking about financial expense, but emotional expense. We generally give friendship to receive friendship. A relationship where one person does all the giving and the other only takes, is considered toxic.
If she only gives but never gets, she just have the wrong friends. Presents and emotional responces still work two ways for they are not limited to baby and engagement events. Nor does the relationship status of any person involved matter in any way.
This is such a weird response to me. Like people are naturally either good friends or bad ones, instead of flawed humans who tend to be focused on our own loves and experiences. All the OP is doing is reminding people to think outside of their own experiences to improve their relationships. Its not a personal attack, I wish everyone would unruffle their feathers.
It’s the kind of response you get from men babbling in a group whose very first rule is, in fact:
I mean that literally. As soon as I saw his response, I had him pegged as not being a woman and it was trivial to find the evidence thereafter.
Keep it in context.
Friendship is a two way street. You give, you get. (Giving and getting unspecified, what to give and get … that’s something different for everyone)
I had to go back to your original comment.
And the answer that you just gave (and that I agree with) is . . . yes. We give friendship to get friendship. And yes, that looks different to different people. That is exactly what the OP is saying. If friend A has celebrated friend B’s wedding and babies and anniversaries, etc, but friend B hasn’t celebrated whatever milestones are important to friend A, it doesn’t necessarily mean friend B is a bad person or bad friend. It may just be that they hadn’t thought about celebrations outside of a very particular, traditional mindset.
On seeing this post, we can all ask ourselves, am I celebrating my friends in a way that is meaningful to them? Are they meeting my own emotional needs, or do I need to communicate more clearly to them? Have I even given thought to what my expectations or desires from my friends are?
I guess the disconnect is that I see posts like this as an opportunity for self-reflection and improvement. I still can’t tell from any of your comments what you find disagreeable about it.
I don’t understand your reply. What did I remove from context? The context was the post telling people to remember that our friends may have different life experiences than us and we should be sensitive to their emotional needs and celebrate them for their successes, even if they are on a different life track than us. We all get busy and tend toward self-focus, it’s good to have these kind of reminders.
True, they shouldn’t, but that’s not the reality for a lot of people.