I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?
Naa its mostly fun to me! And the people i interact with seem like good people for the most part.
Agreed. And to dispell the impression of posts having to be PhD dissertations: Pee pee poo poo
I am, however, a judgmental prick, but I (usually) keep those opinions to myself. I will silently judge youbased on your posts and comments, and leave it at that.
Pee pee on poo poo
I find myself generally well received in both serious posts and dumb jokes. I rarely actually run into anyone that hard headed.
My most upvoted comments are ways jokes.
Hostile, no not really. Less tolerance for bullshit isn’t necessarily hostile.
Insular? Yeah. It’s a small community.
Its simply the old internet: A highly autistic place filled with highly intelligent (or at least, that is what they think of themselves) people with tons of StarTrek, inside jokes and oh so much petty grudges.
As someone who was around at the time of the Usenet and the end if the BBS era I love it, but it is a bit of an acquired taste…
Pee pee poo poop
Lemmy is rather small, you might be bumping into the same 3 users everywhere.
In the app I use I can “tag” people’s usernames and keep track of them across posts. It’s interesting to bump into “angry cyclist” being aggressive again about a completely random topic. It kind of puts it into perspective that it might just be how this person sees the world, especially if they’re very active and keep showing up. It feels very much like older forums where the same people keep turning up, which is something I didn’t realise I missed.
Just an extension to this, when I used Reddit, /r/all was too big and had a bunch of crap I didn’t care about, and I browsed my home page of subscribed communities.
On here I only ever browse All, despite the drawbacks. I think it’s practically the only way to use Lemmy. OP might have subscribed to a dozen communities and felt claustrophobic especially if they’re coming from Reddit.
Different instances are more or less insular though. Hexbear can be good fun but once you realize 95% of the posts and comments are from like 200 people it feels more like a discord server than a federated link aggregator. db0 federates with most big instances so even our local communities don’t feel as insular. .world is .world, for better and for worse.
Sorry about that, I’ll try to get my friend on here who’s nicer than me.
Sounds about right. Outside of political threads, I’ve only noticed and tagged maybe three users that are truly toxic (as in they enter every conversation with an insult and devolve from there). The problem is that those users are active everywhere and make the Lemmyverse feel much less welcoming than it actually is.
I prefer it over the reddit way, tbh. Every comment section there is just filled with gifs and jokes, and you have to scroll miles to get a reasonable and sound answer to what OP was asking. It’s especially frustrating when I’ve searched for an issue online and reddit pops up in the search results, and all responses are just bad repetitive jokes.
Also bots. There to sway public opinion.
Yeah. I’m assuming a lot of the meaningless drivel on there is bots “driving engagement” too
Not even that, there’s talking point level reactivity now that doesn’t fit the prior reactivity we were all accustomed to on old reddit.
“This 👆 💯 🤯”
I tip my hat to you good gentlesir! Upvotes to the left!
The reddit way?
Its raw internet. You gotta put effort into customizing it to your taste.
I’m only a month in to my Lemmy journey (a few days or so of being actually active now I understand how it works) and I have so far found totally the opposite.
It’s sure a lot nicer than reddit, we can express ourselves better here without worrying about the banhammer or shit like that. Hell on Reddit I used to get permanently muted from communities just cause I said a ‘bad word’ - once was by a really good sub because I directly quoted an Australian animated skit with the word cunt in it. I’m Aussie so I’m not offended by it in the least, it’s an Aussie staple that can mean all kinds of things.
People here seem nicer, smaller community, more open for a chat, don’t have to autistically worry about someone getting offended as often. More likely to upvote comments too.
In short, fuck Reddit haha.
As someone who’s trying go find my place online… Having tried Mastodon, Lemmy, mBin, nostr, bsky, wafrn, etc. Lemmy is by far the most hostile and it’s not even close. Yes there may be more trolls on nostr. But it’s obvious trolling. Not serious hostility.
Honestly, Lemmy feels like an echo chamber. I only rarely see people disagreeing with the OP or being willing to accept different opinions without judging.
On other networks, I don’t sense as much anger or judging based on single statements. I once made an unfortunate and unclear statement on Bluesky and while the immediate reaction from some of the other people in there was definitely negative, it was more of a conversation and it actually ended up feeling like we all ended up moving on. Lemmy feels more like a place where you say something that’s borderline centrist and you’ll be slaughtered in bright daylight and hung out to dry.
But I may just have been browsing the wrong communities I guess.
I’m not saying I’m not an asshat at times. I am human, after all. It’s just that on other networks, I feel there’s more opportunity to have an actual debate instead of being lynched by a thousand anonymous community-beloved personalities.
Insular has such a negative connotation. I’d call it “neighborly”: I like seeing the same usernames over again and getting to know their idiosyncrasies.
Hostile, I have to disagree with outright. I only have reddit and oldschool fora to compare it against, but lemmy is much friendlier than both.
Are we given to long comments? Sure. Are those comments worth reading? Usually! And that’s what makes the difference.
Don’t disagree at all, I think a lot of what’s going on is the uptick in the “eternal September phenomenon”. A lot of us have been here for a while even if like myself we’ve switched instances, and those that have stuck around know the way things work and also like it, the new folks come here and think it’s Reddit, and when they get pushback because we’re all clearly here because we on one level or another had problems with Reddit or some other platform, they seem to think we’re the inclusive ones. When really they’re all up in the koolaid and don’t even know the flavor.
Some will stick around and some will bail, and then the cycle repeats, it’s just been happening with greater frequency
Edit: I’ll also freely admit that sometimes it is a bit serious here for my personality which leans flippant, but that’s fine, I still am here for a reason
or it’s just that as things get popular the lowest common denominator content becomes the most prevalent.
because that is how the majority of folks operate.
Initially yes, the most active communities are filled with incredibly pedantic and holier-than-thou users that are more than happy to call you a drooling idiot for not agreeing with their logical opinions.
Once you start subscribing to communities you actually enjoy and block comms that allow users to muse about how 14 year olds have a “consenting nature” (looking at you !shitposting@lemmy.world), Lemmy becomes a lot more useful and inclusive. There’s a lot of communities that are more active than it seems. I suggest going to the communities page and subscribing to just those comms that interest you.
Also be the change you want to see! Start posting and commenting without worrying about what the average Lemming thinks of you. We can build the type of communities we want instead of allowing this place to become another 4Chan.
Gotta agree with you here Velma. The beauty of Lemmy isn’t that it attracts or allows different people, but that we aren’t advertised to, and we are able to block instances or communities that don’t work for us, and we are able to fully curate our home pages without being shown posts from completely unrelated pages just because they paid money to be boosted. Once that is done and we have found and settled into our spaces, that is where the good interactions come out.
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and continually encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
Well said. You’re right - the root of the problem is that the users here are predominately male and that then influences the tone of the space. Without conscious effort it is easy to allow misogyny to flourish.
Especially since they are hard-wired to just not notice it - hence why we constantly get told we are overreacting - to them it comes out of left field because they do not see what we see.
The real piss off with that is that while I realize it isn’t their fault they are socialized that way, if they really want to believe that they, individually, are one of the “good ones” (as in, the non-problematic men, the ones not contributing to the problem) they can’t justify that belief unless they are actively listening when we tell them what we experience, or how something comes across from our perspective. So many of them want to push the problem down by saying “nuh uh” or arguing with us about our own damn experiences
Its fucking asinine.
My favorite is when they acknowledge we live in a patriarchal society, that women are treated worse than men, but we are overreacting or simply imagining men are treating us this way.
Fucking asinine indeed!
Sorry you girls/women have to fight so hard just to have a space. Probably makes it hard to want to try some days and it shouldn’t be that way.
As dkppunk said, it would help if the good men here would push back against their fellow men and some of these attitudes here. Seeing others push to create space for everyone to feel welcome helps a lot!
I haven’t come across much, but I mostly visit stuff where discussions don’t bring in anything mysoginistic. I may not notice everything as immediately since I’m not the one directly affected, but I do try to speak up when I notice because it affects some of my favorite people. I’m glad though, that you and others are speaking up and pushing so more of us take the effort to heart and pay proper attention.
Absolutely! I wish more male users of these comms would call out their fellow men’s misogyny and not rely on others to do it for them. It would make the spaces more welcoming to a lot more people and create a more positive atmosphere.
I also love seeing 2 of my fave lemmings in other spaces 🥰
Been missing seeing you as often after Blahaj went down last week! Good to see you again today :)
Definitely one of the users that make Lemmy a pleasure to be on!!
I’ve found Lemmy the most gender diverse friendly place yet. A lot less 4chany/reddit/spezpedo than anywhere else.
You’re ignoring how many women, femmes, trans, enbies, and POC are on Reddit.
Reddit’s population size is going to naturally make it way more diverse than Lemmy for a long time still.
Not ignoring. They have a larger audience, but I felt the general community was more welcomed, and openly themselves here edit: in non-specialized subs.
Ah, there were quite a few great subreddits I was involved in that were incredibly diverse and friendly. I miss those spaces, though I’ve found a couple of communities on Lemmy with similar feel.
I’ve found Lemmy quite harsh and exclusionary for women, so maybe my experience has just been different than yours.
Sorry to hear. I hope that changes fast. My experience on Reddit was vastly different.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I just don’t understand misogyny. I absolutely love everything about women.
Damn, I have the perfect gif for this but Lemmy doesn’t support gifs in comments yet?
Maaaaybe? If the following gif works, we will know something
Edit: Damn, links the IMG but doesn’t play the gif for me.
It played the gif for me.
Voyager app checking in with all systems green: your wish is granted.
I had to open it, then hold tap on the image and click “play animation”, so it’s definitely app dependant
It plays if I open it! Hm maybe it’s a difference in instances or apps.
That’s my guess as well.
It doesn’t? Could have sworn I’ve seen them in tenforward
users to muse about how 14 year olds have a “consenting nature” (looking at you !shitposting@lemmy.world)
What the actual fuck? Are you finding people like that? Oh wtf man. I haven’t seen that in there yet. I’ve seen some category 5 dumbasses but nothing heinous like that. That’s fuckin gross
Yeah there’s definitely some cp-adjacent porn comms on here too, it’s fucking disgusting.
Yeah that’s completely fucked. Glad I’ve not seen it but definitely reporting any I find. Pedos and their enablers need to fuck off and die in a hole.
Yeah I reported several comments, but the post had been up for days at that point and no mods stepped in at all.
Full conversation justifying rock stars raping 14 year olds because it’s more cool than when politicians do it and 14 year olds have a consenting nature.
It was absolutely disgusting. Even the OP of the post called it out.
Nothing. Comments are still up. I blocked the pedo comm at this point.
I’ve noticed that lately shit posting communities have really gone down the drain because there seems to be some sort of cultural notion that you can just post anything and it’s fine because… “It’s a shitpost, it’s not that serious, you just don’t get it”. I remember back in my day shitposting used to mean something 😤
It’s a fine line.
Yeah satire still has taste to it. If you are familiar with super troopers, shitposting is like the officers fucking with people, but what these creeps are doing is like Farva calling people “ChickenFucker” with no humor or nuance etc or anything.
If you aren’t familiar with Super troopers, you need to go watch it meow.
Almost every comment I’ve seen from you is hostile lol
Take a look at my post history, you would be surprised at the positivity I usually comment with - I have no patience for sexist men though.
Yeah you love spewing insults lol
I’m also self aware enough to know i can be a shithead and i’m not out here whining and pretending i’m not part of the problem either
Your name is recognizable and i have seen countless comments from you that rub me the wrong way
If you know you’re part of the problem, why not… stop? You don’t have to be a shithead. It’s actually really easy to treat people with respect.
Because I don’t agree with the OP that it’s an issue. I think that on anon boards you can act however you want. There are better places if you are this sensitive.
You can act however you want, but if you act like a shithead all the time you’re probably gonna get a lot of shit back. That’s fine if that’s what you want, but in that case you gotta have a thick enough skin for it.
If I was bothered I would just block accounts.
Oh I’m not allowed to act however I want but you are?
Why is that?
You can. I would have blocked you if I wasn’t ok with it.
I’m merely pointing out that you have no room to complain about hostility here. Youre a hypocrite
Yeah, which insults do I throw out most? I don’t name call hardly ever unless it’s to point out misogyny and even then it’s to call them a misogynist. I’m serious, feel free to go through my post history. You won’t find what you’re looking for there.
I’m self aware enough to know that I am rude to men who do not respect women. I don’t deny that.
I’ve seen a lot of comments that rub me the wrong way as well.
We get it, you hate men
No, I hate sexist men who can’t respect a women’s only community.
I hate men who rape.
I hate men who insist on their viewpoint being the only correct one and waiving away women’s perspectives and views.
That’s very different from hating all men.
Yes we get it, man bad bear good
Same as with Reddit, it probably depends what community you’re participating in. But i find most of Lemmy to be mostly reasonable like the communities I participated in Reddit. And mind you, I don’t have any particular Lemmy communities I frequent in.
No, not really. Are you spreading misinformation or something?
I find it much more cynical than other places, probably just the nature of how everyone ended up here, jaded by the design of centralized social media.
I have to remind myself that everything isnt as ‘sky is falling’ as I see around these parts. Maybe I’m just blessed with a nice life, and I try not to take that for granted, but it does give me that feeling unfortunately.
I try my best to insert some humour into the headlines as some sort of way to make some light of it all, but that might just be playing into the fear and anger that I see around.
Nah, I’m one of the baddies. I want conversation, not just memes and canned comments.
