I wanted to be a developer, and create the kind of games that I wanted to play. Now, I just want to survive.

I feel that there is some world that others were brought into, that I was left too long to believe that I am a part of it, and I suffered a lot, trying to have the normalcy that others take for granted.

This is not my world, I don’t belong in it. My goal is to become independent enough to not have to worry about other humans exploiting me at all, or die trying.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: December 5th, 2024

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  • It’s designed to mismatch you, but does the right thing on accident.

    But right now, I’d rather not. If someone were to say, assassinate Peter Thiel, then they can just put me on a leash and take me home, do whatever the fuck they want with me xD

    Otherwise, I’d rather refrain both because of poor general health, and trust issues.





  • The God that people believe in, in the Bibble, clearly contradicts himself repeatedly. You can straight up write him off through deduction, at which point, you realize you don’t even know what the fuck you are believing in, so might as well not, or might as well believe whatever random thing you want.

    Might as well believe in a supreme being, but you don’t have holy rules telling you how to behave, so you either have to assume it’s evil, or it does not exist, because a good spreme being would never leave you to suffer for your sins, and commit immorality through no failt of theirs.




  • I can’t remember exactly, but I had a fuckton of really awful nightmares. One of my less terrifying experiences look like: turning on a tap to wash the hundreds of cockroaches crawling on my face, only for more to come out of the tap, and some Kerrigan lookalike phasing through walls and absorbing anything organic.

    I was being very brave, trying to be perfectly stoic, and not showing any signs of pain, as the drill went deeper and deeper into my tooth. Something was VERY wrong, and the pain just keept getting exponentially worse, and I didn’t know if it would end at all, I just stayed quiet somehow until the operation was complete.

    That experience was so horrible, I stopped being brave about almost anything after that. Every time I’d hear a drill nearby from someone doing home renovation nearby, I will grind my teeth and cringe. I had a syncope after being give an anesthetic, as the needle pushed me over the edge from the dread I was feeling (and again, hiding).

    There’s also drowning in your own blood from reflux, wondering if I fucked up the wound where my wisdom tooth was removed, and the bleeding would just not stop, and I was getting basically waterboarded every few seconds, because the blood made me nauseous.

    Drinking vinegar, realizing I fucked up, then thinking I’m going to die from it.

    I guess that’s it.

    EDIT: Cat hitting the gate, making me think someone was coming when I was uh…indisposed is one xD