[a sign reads FEMINIST CONFERENCE next to a closed door, a blue character shrugs and says…]
I don’t care

[next to the same door, the sign now says RESTRICTED FEMINIST CONFERENCE WOMEN ONLY, there are now four blue characters desperately banging on the door, one is reduced to tears on the floor, they are shouting]
DISCRIMINATION
SO UNFAIR!!!
LET US IINN!!
MISANDRY

https://thebad.website/comic/until_it_affects_me

  • Bad@jlai.luOP
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    3 days ago

    From personal experience posting my content on multiple platforms, Lemmy’s userbase is by far the most fragile one regarding sexism.

    Yes, even worse than Reddit, where this very comic had its comment section locked by the rcomics mods due to the hundreds of pissed off dudes crying in the comments. At least they get downvoted on Reddit. Lemmy really is dudebro land, and needs to fix that if it wants to grow further (which I would like as a Lemmy enjoyer).

    I’ve said this a few times already, and it usually makes Lemmy users uncomfortable, so I’ll keep repeating it as often as necessary.

    • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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      Us Lemmy dudebros obviously cannot fully appreciate your level of rage-baiting.

      So I’ll tell ya what: since we are too fragile for your upscale messaging, feel free to take it somewhere else. Your content, and you, are not welcome here at !comicstrips.

      • Nima@leminal.space
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        if you have a personal issue with the OP and you use your moderator flair to try and threaten them, you are not the type of individual that should be a moderator, imho.

        the post does not violate the instance rules and neither does their behavior.

        this is not a great look.

        • Bad@jlai.luOP
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          Worth noting that none of the incels in this thread got a threat (or a ban) like I did.

          And that the example of my past “problematic” behavior by the other mod was an old unmoderated thread full of racists and white supremacists in which some of my comments were retroactively deleted for being uncivil, but none of the racists in that thread got moderated or banned, somehow making me the main issue there.

          Consciously or not, it means their demand is not “be civil” but rather “we’re protecting bigots, and anyone who gets annoyed and talks back to them will be dealt with”. It’s just flaccid tone policing, and somehow extends to comics too, not just comments.

          As I told them, I’ll be nice and pretend I didn’t read this comment chain, and will continue posting my comics as usual. However, I won’t stop clapping back at bigots if they remain unmoderated. Let’s hope the new mods will learn something from being badly ratioed for their takes in here.

          This mod team needs the oversight of someone who has actual experience moderating a big community (and doesn’t act like a dork the instant they get a sliver of power over others). If they aren’t up to the task and keep threatening people who are trying to push bigots out instead of the bigots themselves, I’ll have a chat with the instance admins. Don’t want yet another Lemmy community to fragment, dull, or die.

        • Goferking0@ttrpg.network
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          At least 2 of the mods are involved in this.

          It’s somehow amazing how the comm got worse once mods were added

      • Vespair@lemmy.zip
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        This is insane overreaction.

        This is Lemmy, we don’t have advertisers to appeal to so we don’t have to sterilize our content for their sake.

        This person’s posts ruffles feathers. That’s okay, people can have their feathers ruffled. I don’t see any significant harassment, name calling, hate speech as a result of this poster or their posts, so I can’t fathom any reason to react this way. People are allowed to be uncomfortable, people are allowed to disagree; the existence of controversy or disagreement or discussion in and of itself is not indicative of a problem.

        We have got to stop acting like approaching a caution sign on the road is the same thing as experiencing a car accident.

      • Bad@jlai.luOP
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        2 days ago

        Are you being serious?

        Is this the official stance of the new mod team or a sarcastic reply?

        Legitimately can’t tell.

        • cannedtuna@lemmy.worldM
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          Intentionally rage baiting comics don’t really belong here.

          You’re intentionally inviting uncivil discourse which is not in line with Rule 1: Keep it Civil.

          Going through the comments there’s a lot of flame baiting going and posts like this usually generate a ton of reports due to things getting out of hand very quickly.

          Maybe a better sub for this type of content would be !ragecomics@lemmy.world?

          • Goferking0@ttrpg.network
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            Going through the comments there’s a lot of flame baiting going and posts like this usually generate a ton of reports due to things getting out of hand very quickly.

            I’m confused, this sounds like you’re (comm mods) are blaming the comic creator for how people react to things being pointed out. If the rule becomes nothing allow that could cause people to be angry or react poorly to the content then everything would be banned.

          • Bad@jlai.luOP
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            You fundamentally misunderstand what a comic is. You also clearly do not know what a rage comic is. It’s not a good look for someone picking up mod duties on a comics community. I would suggest looking at other successful/popular comic communities around the internet (start with r/comics on Reddit for example, there’s other places worth investigating too).

            I’ve been contributing here for a year without any previous issues. Nobody from within the community has ever told me that my content doesn’t belong here. It usually gets good scores/votes. This is the first time I’m getting this demand, and it’s coming from a brand new mod team, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t read this comment and give you time to think it through properly.

            Getting rid of content that generates conversation will leave you with a dull or dead community soon enough. Alienating people who have been contributing content regularly for a while won’t help. That’s probably not your end goal.

            • cannedtuna@lemmy.worldM
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              I acknowledge that perhaps comparing your comics to ragecomics was incorrect and insulting to you, I apologize for that.

              That being said your posts that tend to get the most comments are your most divisive comics like this. It’s not that you’re generating insightful conversation, you’re simply provoking a response through divisive or inflammatory messaging.

              The problem comes from the insult slinging the content invites along with the reports that come out of it. Doesn’t help when the flames are fanned by commenting “cry more”. It feels like you might thrive off of rage-baiting like this since you seem to be aware of the headache your content is causing to mods as you remarked that this very comic was locked on /r/comics.

              • Bad@jlai.luOP
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                Doesn’t help when the flames are fanned by commenting “cry more”.

                Fair assessment. I deleted the “cry more” comment and another similar one, my apologies, those are indeed uncivil. However, I would like to remind you that until very recently this community was entirely unmoderated, and that slinging insults at reactionaries / sexist / racist folks was the only way to make them go away. I can adjust that behavior now that the place is (hopefully) properly moderated, but it’s a different request from the “you are unwelcome here” that your colleague opened with, nor was the “did I stutter” they followed it up with when I was trying to clarify the situation a civil response tbh.

                It feels like you might thrive off of rage-baiting like this

                My comics are satirical. The point of satire is that it stings when it hits the correct notes. If you think social/political satire doesn’t belong in this community, then you should add it to the rules. But that would mean banning a lot of the most famous / classic comics of all time, such as The Far Side, Peanuts, Mad Magazine, Dilbert… hell even Astérix is straight up satire.

                Satire is very different from ragebait: it’s meant to make people think about preconceptions they have, about topics they don’t usually question, by presenting them under a different light that exposes the fundamental hypocrisy behind that situation. Ragebait is just stuff made to piss people off for fun. I don’t do such content.

                aware of the headache your content is causing to mods as you remarked that this very comic was locked on /r/comics

                I am in good terms with the mods of r/comics. We have regular conversations, and never once have they accused my content of being ragebait, complained that I was uncivil (although to be fair the place is actually moderated so I can just report comments over there), or complained that my comics aren’t comics. Quite the opposite actually, they enjoy that I (and other popular cartoonists) act as a magnet for unmasking bigots, it helps them get rid of those people.

                They locked the thread because it was attracting an overwhelming number of men’s right activists, so many more than usual that it had to be a raid from a third party community. It wasn’t because they had any issue with the content of the comic or with the discourse that was happening under it (actually there was some pretty good discourse regarding transphobia if the comic is seen under a specific prism that I didn’t take into account, which is healthy and important discourse).

                My comment that spawned this entire conversation was a commentary on a deep sexism issue that Lemmy has to deal with, especially in unmoderated or poorly moderated communities. Whether I continue posting content here or not, those people will still be there, and you’ll have to deal with them sooner or later. Keep that in mind.

                All in all, I understand that it’s hard to take over a husk of a community and turn it into something better. If you think I don’t fit, then fine, your place your rules. Just make sure that decision fits with what the community actually wants (doesn’t seem to fit with the votes / scores my content gets + nobody in this community has ever told me my content doesn’t belong here), and that everyone here understands what your definition of a comic is, otherwise you’re exposing yourself to fragmenting or dulling the community, which is something I don’t want to happen even if I do get excluded, as this is the kind of stuff that alienates Fediverse users and hurts Lemmy’s overall popularity.

                Good luck figuring this all out. Thanks for actually making a proper detailed comment about it. If you genuinely think my content doesn’t belong here, then just ban me and be done with it, would be better than your colleague’s confusing attempt at trying to act tough. Otherwise I’ll continue posting on the usual schedule, as I’ve been doing for a year now. I enjoy the conversations in here, sometimes it mostly generates rage and negative reactions sure (especially when it’s about sexism tbh), but most of the time they’re constructive and interesting. See you tomorrow… or never I guess, depending on how you feel. Your move. Good night.

          • Bad@jlai.luOP
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            This is not the correct hill to die on.

            If you confidently feel that I am unwelcome here, why not just ban me and be done with it?

            You’ll also need to ban some of the other regulars who have been contributing content to this place for a long time now. You might want to have a serious inner discussion within your team and with the community about what a comic actually is. A good start would be looking at other successful/popular comic communities around the internet (start with r/comics on Reddit for example, there’s other places worth investigating too).

            Getting rid of content that generates conversation will leave you with a dull or dead community soon enough. Alienating people who have been contributing content regularly for a while won’t help. That’s probably not your end goal.

            Take some time to think about it, I’ll head out for now. Good night.

            • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldM
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              You come into this community with bad faith posts simply to start arguments, and are told you’re not welcome here. If you continue with said behavior, you will be banned. This has been your warning. Enjoy your evening!

              • Bad@jlai.luOP
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                I share comics in Lemmy’s main comics community.

                They’re shared in good faith, with the goal of being relatable and thought provoking content. As all comics are, that’s precisely the reason why people make comics, especially satirical ones. I have better things to do with my life than creating chaos for the sake of chaos.

                This comic has a good score, a good upvote % ratio, has generated some interesting conversations (and some chaos too, sure).

                You told me I am unwelcome in response to a comment that has 89 upvotes vs 20 downvotes at the time of writing this. Are you sure that you understand the community you are representing / moderating? Seems like there’s an obvious rift here.

                In the end it’s up to you, and if you want me gone, then I’ll be gone, I’m not here to argue with you. I’d just like to spare everyone (you included) the headache of whatever happens next if you start power tripping. It would lead to the usual lemmy community split, fragmenting the userbase even more, etc. which is not desirable for any of us.

                You should really think this through, starting with learning what a comic is, and looking at what the community wants or doesn’t want to see here.

                • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldM
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                  Prior work does not give you free license to come into this community and be an ass. You are bound by all of the same rules and expectations as all other posters. If that is not acceptable, you are free to go find (or create) a more suitable community to post in. Bigotry of any kind, for any reason, is unacceptable.

                  • Bad@jlai.luOP
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                    Buddy, your rules changed overnight in a way that makes no sense because - and I insist on that - you do not understand what a comic is. That’s a terrible look for a new mod in a comics community.

                    Look at this comment chain’s scores / votes: you are being ratio’d by your own community. Maybe it’s a sign you are doing things in a way that’s overstepping some boundaries that make no sense, no?

                    The choice of word “bigotry” in your comment is something else. Bigoted against who, sexists? Men’s right activists? You are a afraid of satirical content. It creates discourse that you don’t want to manage. Got it. This is your place now, you get to set your rules. But actually add a “no satirical comics” rule instead of freestyling it, because that’s not what “be civil” implies in regards to content creation.

                    Since this is the only comics community on Lemmy with an actual active population, I’ll keep posting my content in here until you ban me for it. And if you do end up banning me, I won’t be posting it to other comic communities, only to my personal community, there’s no other place suitable for comics and I don’t feel like creating a split/offshoot. That would be damaging for Lemmy and I don’t want to see the fediverse split some more over one man’s stubbornness.

                    Your mod team needs to have an actual conversation about this exchange though (and the scores / votes it’s getting), and needs to have a conversation with the comics community too about what you think a comic is and isn’t and what does or doesn’t belong here. Implying any form of satire with a bit of a provocative sting isn’t welcome here is a huge deal, and requires a clear delineation of what the line that should not be crossed precisely is.

                    You have no idea what you are doing, this is the type of rash decision that marks the start of the decline of a community, which would suck since this one is quite lively as of now. I’ll take the exclusion if you want, it wouldn’t annoy me as much as it would to see yet another Fediverse community become dull and die.

                    PS: Half of the issue is that you express yourself poorly. Another mod had to step in and clarify what your issue with me precisely was. You could have been direct from the start instead of trying to act tough. People can’t read your mind, work on your communications skills. And go read the much more constructive reply I gave them, wouldn’t hurt, you might realize we don’t stand at odds as much as you believe.

                    PPS: This comic is currently on top of lemmy.world’s front page, even though it’s two days old. Are you fully sure and certain that you are taking decisions that go with the flow of what the community likes / wants to see? Or is this maybe a personal vendetta because you dislike the way I was behaving in this community… back when there was no active mod team here and thus no other way to get bigots / sexists / racists to leave this place than to make them feel unwelcome? I get your message, there’s a mod team now, so I should leave conflicts to you instead of handling it myself. Acknowledged. Maybe you should have opened with that.

    • buprenorffy@lemmy.ml
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      I think at least part of that comes from the fact that the most vocal feminist and anti-misogynist (and ant-racism, etc.) instances get defederated by the admins of big instances like .world which tends to concentrate the more reactionary elements into instances like .world even though it has the larger user base. Since the people who would tend to be the most vocal fighting back against the dudebro types are in a different section of the fediverse that .world cuts itself off from, those voices aren’t heard and so the bigger chunk of lemmy (.world) gets a well deserved reputation for being worse than reddit in terms of crying, fragile (and white) men being overrepresented in the user base.

    • Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      It’s the ultimate consequence of going all in on recruiting people from reddit, which I have been trying to tell people for years. You’re not making the fediverse better, you’re making it more reddity. There’s no point in leaving reddit while bringing the worst of the culture.

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        There’s also some element that “alternative sites” tend to accumulate the people banned from the primary site. Luckily the strong left-leaning initial crowd kept most of the bigotry at bay during the formative years, but I really dislike that in general-purpose instances, many have failed to create much original culture distinct from reddit. Lemmy isn’t reddit, and that can be a good thing.

    • eureka@aussie.zone
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      Luckily I haven’t been exposed to much of that behaviour on my local instance. Which instances/communities are you finding all these jerks at? (I’ve blocked a couple for unrelated reasons so maybe I’m not seeing them.)

    • dkppunk@piefed.social
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      I appreciate you posting this kind of stuff!

      Lemmy really is dudebro land

      I feel this every time there is a post or comment about how women should have bigger pockets in our jeans and pants.

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        Are there really dudes defending fake/small pockets on women’s clothes? That’s a new level of…I don’t even know what.

        • dkppunk@piefed.social
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          lol Yeah it happens. They don’t so much defend them, more argue with women that it’s our fault for buying pants with small pockets, even though there aren’t many options. Or since women like our pants so tight, pockets would look wrong to stuff them full, when all we want is to be able to carry a few items like ID, credit card, and a small amount of cash. And there is always someone who links to a search for “women’s pants deep pockets” on websites like Old Navy or The Gap thrown around like that actually means those pants have deep pockets, when they frequently have those useless half pockets. Or that women should just wear men’s pants even though they don’t fit women’s bodies and are uncomfortable.

          It’s a misunderstanding of what women are actually asking for, so instead of admitting they don’t understand, they double down and argue with women that we don’t really want that 🤷‍♀️

          • mangobanana@discuss.online
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            I HATE tight pants. It’s so offensive that women’s clothing is so restrictive and tight, meanwhile men can wear the baggiest clothing and nobody blinks an eye

            • dkppunk@piefed.social
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              Agreed. More options would be better, but companies are only into making cheap fast fashion so we have to buy clothes more often.

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                This does not work when the clothing is all spandex infused. If I were to buy a bigger size jean then they would be super tight still in the leg, just just fall down from the waist and crotch. Women’s clothing sucks

              • dkppunk@piefed.social
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                Just buy bigger pants?

                This doesn’t actually solve the issue. Buying bigger pants means the waist doesn’t fit, so you have to wear a belt. Which is fine. But when I wear pants with a waist that is too big, it bunches in places and is uncomfortable when I sit down and lean back. It can also cause weird gapping in the waistband that leaves underwear exposed for everyone to see.

                This is why I don’t just “buy men’s pants and wear a belt”, like I’ve been told to do over and over again. Men’s clothes don’t fit my body and the excess fabric bunches causing uncomfortable pressure points on my back and waist. I already have enough back issues, I don’t want pants that cause even more.

                The best solution is to give women more options. I know it’s “the trend” for women to wear tight fitting clothes, however, there are significant number of women that don’t like all of our clothes to be tight. Clothing companies would still make money, but they prefer to make cheap fast fashion garbage that falls apart quickly and forces women to buy clothes more often. Instead women get told that we only want to wear tight clothes because we want to be sexy and we since have no pockets we have to buy purses or we get told we look frumpy and gross in baggy clothes.

                • mangobanana@discuss.online
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                  I completely agree, and thank you so much for commenting that. In my eyes the real issue is the misogyny that women are supposed to wear super tight revealing clothes that restrict the movements. Men get to wear baggy loose clothing that is not restrictive at all 90% of the time. Just go to a gym any day and look at the difference and women’s attire and men’s attire. Why do women have to wear revealing clothing when men are covered? Super frustrating as a plus size woman to have the only option of clothing be tight. I don’t want to wear tight clothing that shows every dimple and roll.

                  • dkppunk@piefed.social
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                    No problem! I totally understand what you mean.

                    Gym clothes specifically are rough for me because I can’t do all the high waisted stuff. The tight fit presses against an old surgery scar of mine and causes really painful cramping. Finding gym clothes can be so much fun! /s

                • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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                  The best solution is to give women more options.

                  The customer will always want their preferred option to exist, but if creating those additional options isn’t profitable for the clothing manufacturer because it doesn’t sell well enough, you shouldn’t be surprised if they don’t do it. After all, from their perspective, it’s not a “solution”, it’s throwing money out the window for no reason. And businesses dislike doing that as much as we do.

                  I’m not a woman, but I am someone whose preferences are often significantly deviated from what’s commonly available, so I can definitely empathize about this sort of dilemma. But at the same time, I understand why it is the way it is.

                  • dkppunk@piefed.social
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                    I disagree. Women’s pants with pockets will sell just as well as, if not better than, women’s pants with fake pockets because at the end of the day, there is no difference in pants with vs without except in very limited cases like specific styles of business attire. The pants will sell because women want to wear pants and we buy pants available to us.

                    There is no good reason at all for fake pockets to even exist. These companies do this so they can force women to buy purses, an extra item that causes women to spend more money. It’s sexism. That’s all there is to it.

                    I highly recommend a book called Pockets: An Intimate History of How We Keep Things Close by Hannah Carlson. Women have been denied pockets for centuries and business today are just continuing that.

                    https://bookshop.org/p/books/pockets-an-intimate-history-of-how-we-keep-things-close-hannah-carlson/be9f2cf36a821fb6?ean=9781643751542&next=t

    • xorollo@leminal.space
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      it usually makes Lemmy users uncomfortable, so I’ll keep repeating it as often as necessary.

      Lol good job.

    • atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works
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      I am sorry you have experienced that. It is my hope that we have simply created a place where people feel more comfortable discussing and expressing uninformed opinions with an open mind toward learning and conversation rather than a safe place for bigots.

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      Damn I am tired of sexist people like you. Stop badmouthing men if your brain is too smooth to understand that “dick” can be a female too. Write no dick behavior instead, you sexist idiot. Might as well start doing memes with “no black people allowed” sign

      • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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        Calling your hypothetical “dick” “a female” is not helping your case… (it also sounds rather funny the way I said it hehe)

          • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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            The not so funny meaning of the statement was supposed to be that using female as a noun is usually considered offensive when talking about humans.

            I’m not sure how that or the possible alternative and more amusing interpretation of implying your penis being a female of it’s species, deserves being called an asshole.

            Also I don’t think I understood your second sentence because to my knowledge just under 50% of humans would be expected to have a dick which is notably less than everyone.

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      due to the hundreds of pissed off dudes crying in the comments

      Huh, almost like the comic is sexist. Who’d had thunk?