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Translation: we hired incompetent insecure assholes into management positions and can’t get rid of them for some reason, can you tolerate their bullshit and manage their egos
or the classic “we wanted to downsize the employee budget to pad the CEOs salary, so we fired half our staff and the remaining plebs do twice the work because fuck you thats why”
From a surveyors experience, replace ‘we’ with ‘they’ and continue as before.
Give it your 110% and we’ll demand 120%!
And don’t think that 120% will grant you a raise either! Inflation will eat 5% of your paycheck each year!
You’re lucky if it’s only 5% in this economy!
not remotely
“Oh good because we don’t allow work-from-home. Can’t miss out on that in-person SYNERGY.”
“Do you want to be an infinitely productive profit maker for the company at your own expense?”
“We’re a family company”
=> some of the worst backstabbing I’ve ever seen. Glad to have left that behind.
We’re just like a family.
Any time there’s an emergency, day or night, you’re supposed immediately to drop everything to take care of us and demand nothing in return.
And of course, we’re not going to pay any of that overtime!
We’re a family! Complete with the narcissistic micromanaging lunatics, Favoritism and nepotism, and miserable people willing to throw you under the bus for a chance to be rewarded!
Same here! “We’re a family”. It was an abusive relationship where the CEO was the narcissistic abuser. God he treated everyone like crap in that place.
“I can make a hundred trillion calculation per second and they’re all wrong”
Well if that’s the bar I can do 150 trillion wrong calculations!
Beaten by math! My only weakness!!
Are you DESPERATE ENOUGH to WORK HERE!?
WE’RE A FAMILY. Now go to your cubicle without enough pay to afford dinner.
Ask them to feed you since they’re family.
They already us a pizza party to celebrate record profits. What more do you want !?!
Wtf you’re not a team player.
/s
Are we a team or a family?, get it straight! Also, teams do feed their players after matches afaik.
No, not that kind of team.
There’s only one kind of team!
-“We’re team Teamspeak!”
Pizza party is next thursday, if the team meets the goals
One slice per employee.
Very unfamilylike
That does sound like my family, actually.
It’s funny when you see job postings for where you work. I saw one for where I’m at (a ghost job, since there’s a hiring freeze) that said like “join a highly functional team”. Lady, this team can barely push code that doesn’t have syntax errors.
Side note: posting jobs with no intention to hire (aka a ghost job) should be illegal.
Recently saw the place I left a year ago put up a posting. It was word-for-word the same as the job I applied for 4 years previously but it had an extra sentence: MUST HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR.
This is code for: MUST BE OKAY WITH THE OWNER’S RAMPANT HOMO AND TRANS PHOBIA.
I had a recruiter call me up and ask me how I hadn’t found a job with all these postings. Like, lady, they’re not real!
I see the same job market terminology hasn’t changed generationally.
Tell me, are 21 year olds still meeting the challenge to “thrive under pressure” for $10 an hour more than their fast food friends?
No, now it’s only $3.50 a hour more than a fast food job with unpaid overtime.
Pay off their
tertiary educationTP in no time, then
Do you want to pay me like i’m in a fast paced break everything environment where i’m going have to put up with a lot of shit?
Oh GOD no
Just sayin, i don’t love break-neck pace, but I do love living comfortably during inflation…
>looks inside
>office job
Applies for “The Office: Operation Dwight”
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Jim’s camera
“Well here I go again…!”
When they also say “We’re one big family here!”. They don’t say it’s a dysfunctional one. 🌚
This has always been my problem with conflating “family” with “office”. It’s tragically subjective, and usually for the worse.
Some people have garbage family dynamics, with no counseling in sight. So these same people trot this steaming pile of bad values, reactionary behavior, trauma dumping, triggers, and more right into the workplace like it’s totally normal.
In a smaller way, I also see managers emulate mom or dad to run their little piece of the company. All the while, not understanding that they themselves were horribly abused by their parents and think that behavior is completely a-okay to project onto their team.
‘Colin Robinson; Energy Vampire’ uses that tactic
Colin is my favorite take on vampires. Hits home much harder than sucking blood lol
We all know that one person who likes to explain things. It’s sort of a way to get attention, and an easy way of doing that is mansplaining. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of mansplaining, but mansplaining is a term used for a situation where a man explains what something means, to a woman. Now, you may be asking yourself, “what is a woman?”. I’d answer, that is a very good question. By that I mean are you asking what defines femininity, or what are they literally composed of? For that may I refer you to reddit. What is Reddit, you might ask? That’s a very good question. I’d say it’s a place for people, but these days none of it is actually people. By that I mean that it’s become weaponized in a way, using very basic propaganda. What is propaganda, you might ask? Well, that’s probably something I might ask myself later today. Probably has something to do with updog.
What’s updog?
Nothin’ much. What’s up with you?
Translation: “everyone knows your cell phone number, and they are not afraid to use it”
Usually this means, “we don’t value work/life balance, so we want you to combine the two like we have”
I want to work at a CHILL JOB where I can TAKE IT EASY and FINISH WHENEVER.
Have you considered night shift?
I mean, yes it’ll destroy your sleep schedule but it is very chill.
OK short term but comes with increased risk of all cause mortality if you stick to it for long (especially after 5 years, it rises exponentially if more than 20 years).
The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies night shift work as a Group 2A “probable carcinogen.” Suppressing melatonin (the sleep hormone) via artificial light at night disrupts natural cellular repair, increases oxidative stress, and alters DNA repair mechanisms, increasing the long-term risk of cancers (particularly breast, prostate, and colorectal cancers).
Best to keep it to less than 5 years to minimize risk. Employers should ve compensating substantially if it’s longer than that.
In this world, I consider this a plus.
It really depends on the job. I’ve usually worked night shifts and the only time it was chill was when I was a security guard and got assigned to make sure teenagers stayed out of an abandoned farmhouse that was structurally unsafe.
Working night shifts at a factory or warehouse ain’t fuckin’ chill.
Hotels are usually super chill at night, too. Unless it’s a fuckoff big property in the middle of a big touristy city, you’re usually getting paid to be a warm body just to deal with issues that may arise, you are almost never expected to be busy/have serious duties or even look busy. It’s light paperwork, attending to the occasional guest with a modicum of asskissing, and occasionally dealing with complete raging dumpster fires at 3AM – but they’re rather rare at quieter properties in smaller cities. YMMV wildly, depending on the property, some places have been absolutely awful and some have been the easiest thing I’ve ever been paid money to do. During COVID I was once paid to run the nightly paperwork at a hotel that was closed down, with no guests in house, and no revenue. But I still had to tick the business date over and run reports for them because otherwise… I dunno, the building burns down, who the fuck knows, I got paid to babysit an empty building and print/email reports full of 0s from 11PM-7AM every night for several months. Was nice, would recommend (the job, not the pandemic)
Had a night shift for 5 years. I will never be able to sleep normal again. A decade after leaving my brain still has issues keeping a regular schedule, I get random bouts of sleepiness in the middle of the day. And when stressed my brain refuses to sleep some nights.
It was pretty chill while doing it, though.
me I’ve always been a night owl so night shift works fantastic for me, my only gripe is how much shit I’ve still got to do during normal business hours to function like a human being. Banks, doctors appointments, grocery shopping – fuck, once I was even called into a mandatory all-staff workplace meeting at noon despite working the overnight shift there and being between shifts the day of. Absolute madness, I want to yank whoever decided that out of their bed at 3AM and ask them to try functioning.
I miss night shifts so much. Also the differential was nice.
I’d rather have a job where I’m working hard to accomplish something over one where I can get paid to do nothing. Doing nothing burns me out. I never would have thought this before living it.
I don’t want to do nothing either. I wanna be a librarian or something. I’m sick of retail, factory, farm, and warehouse work.
Good luck finding one
I saw “payment on time” stated as what the position offers. Or “free parking”. I once read an offer that tried to suggest “working shifts” is a positive.
I just saw that my job advertises that they don’t charge you for the uniform…
Our luxurious bathrooms include TOILET PAPER and RUNNING WATER.
I saw “competitive wage” and it was literally minimum wage 💔
That is competetive because everyone else is also paying minimum wage
My wife is a tenured professor and her university still makes her pay for parking on their own lots.
Let’s work towards not working at all! Crazy as it sounds.
I have a plan, it’s stupid good!
