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They say romance is dead in 2026
This can’t be real.
wha-
wha.
– Frost
He’s the one for sure
Yeah Aaron can hang
Dating apps are designed to keep you single forever.
I can’t imagine ever using one.
If you talk on them like Aaron, then yes.
New town, made more friends in person, and have gotten laid more times, with people I met out and about.
But I’ve also made a couple of friends and gotten laid a few times from apps. Worth the $x a month, it’s less than one ticket to a good party or an evening’s worth of drinks at karaoke, and pays off at a similar rate per dollar, just more slowly.
(Unless you’re just looking for mediocre fumbling with someone who only cares about getting their dick off, then apps got ya)
Sometimes I wish I had a legit friend that I would actually like to fuck. That would be…something.
Unfortunately, none of them I’d like in that way.
You can still get lucky. I met my wife on Okcupid, but there was a ton of disappointment before then.
How long ago? Before Match Group decided to make all of their products the same, OKC used to have an amazing algorithm that matched based on quiz answers. At some point, they scrapped all of that and turned it into another Tinder where quiz answers were deemphasized and swiping based on first profile picture is the main interaction method. All of their dating apps now use the same algorithm, which as many people have said, is tuned to keep you using the platform as long as possible, not provide you with high quality matches.
My cousin met his wife on tinder, he seems to regret that these days tho
It’s too late to swipe left.
So you’d think, but that boy ain’t never been too smart
It’s designed to mismatch you, but does the right thing on accident.
But right now, I’d rather not. If someone were to say, assassinate Peter Thiel, then they can just put me on a leash and take me home, do whatever the fuck they want with me xD
Otherwise, I’d rather refrain both because of poor general health, and trust issues.
It is 100% meant to mismatch you to keep you on the app to make money. Start asking people who met people on apps and you quickly notice a pattern. The person they are with was not like any of the other people it matches you with. It’s not that hard to match people. They are betting that two people won’t compare their apps after they get together. I have watched three couples in the same room compare their apps with each other, with all three realizing it only works by mistake.
My wife and I actually matched on 3 different sites, but things have definitely enshitified since.
That is great! That is what they are supposed to do.
The best part is she wasn’t even looking for a relationship, but we’re basically the same person so things just clicked.
So the app succeeded catastrophically. Nice!
Relevant Oatmeal
I don’t see how that’s too relevant. The comic isn’t about having kids per se. It’s about just giving up kids you’ve already had, which is quite different.
I think they meant adjacent instead of relevant.
I didn’t think it was possible to be denser than a neutron star but here we are…
Quark Star!
Bro could at least invite her for dinner before making such … interesting demands.
He’s just trying to avoid paying for a baby sitter when he asks her out.
So are we supposed to communicate honestly or not!?
Women want honesty until they’re asked to put their kids up for adoption. Smh
It’s like, I’m trying to meet you halfway over here, but you’ve gotta work with me a little!
Listen my dude it’s a two way street. You look decent so what about I drop off one kid at the fire station and we go from there? I’m sure you’ll get to love little Timmy.
Great, I know the perfect year-round boarding school.
You seem like you’d be a genuine arsehole in real life. (Just being honest.)
Woosh
OMG yes!!! I’ve already dropped them off at the fire station. When can you come over??? 🥰
proceeds to kneecap the guy and let’s her kids taking batting practiced with his balls
Call me old fashioned but I don’t think kids should be playing with the genitals of adults
I don’t know if I’d describe hitting a guy in the nuts with a baseball bat “playing with genitals”
depends if he likes it or no i guess…
CBT exists… :|
Cognitive behavioral therapy, right?
… Right?
Back on Reddit, I once saw a lengthy debate about whether this or what you meant should be the default assumption when seeing that acronym. I don’t think either participant left satisfied, which I suppose was appropriate.
Cranial Brain Thinking
Heh. Context matters though. I honestly didn’t even know Cognitive Behavioral Therapy shared that acronym, not being native speaker and all that. Sure as hell my original meaning was more…erm…in your face on memey social media xD
That’s nuts
but what about a man-child?
Wouldn’t matter if it was a woman-child
Found the Democrat
Should I be offended? I’m Australian
I mean, technically yes but not as much as if you were 'murican republican. I apologize for the unintended offense.
That’s okay we don’t get offended like murcans
“Would you be willing to choose me, a man you don’t even know, over your own children? I don’t even know why I have to use these sites, I’m literally the most amazing man on the face of the planet. It’s a disgrace I even debase myself by using this. Did I mention I’m the most modest person in the world as well?”
It’s not real, bro. The bad man can’t hurt you
I hope it’s not real.
Guy was about 20 years too late for Susan Smith.
Looks like Aaron earned an iron urn.
So how long have you lived in Baltimore?
the most unhinged starter messages, as we.all expected something sexual or creepy. its worse 😭
Geez, guy could have just swiped left.
I think it’s parodying those that match and then ask someone to give up their pets…
