I don’t think I can pick the absolute dumbest. I’m sure to forget something. One of the dumbest things I heard recently was in an argument about abortion. A guy was arguing that abortion should be illegal. When asked what he suggests should be the penalty for abortion, he said it wouldn’t happen because it would be illegal
One time I was at a grocery store and they sold out of a particular drink I liked.
A manager was standing nearby and I asked when they would restock it.
“Never.” He said. “It always sells out and I don’t want to constantly order and restock it, so I’m not going to get more.”
Reminds me of the story of the warehouseman who refused to give someone the last of an item in the warehouse because that would mean they’d be out of stock.
Ah. There’s a reasons for that, as told to me by a supply sergeant in the military. A lot of suppliers had a BEL (Basic Equipment List), which says all stock must have a minimum and a maximum of XYZ in order to meet government spec. Some large items, like diesel generators, have a BEL minimum of 2, but also because of their size and storage complexity, have a maximum of 2. So it order to get a new one, you must get rid of one of the old ones. But if you get rid of the old one, you are below minimum BEL, and could fail inspection or an inventory check, if it takes a while to get a new one. Large items don’t always “hang around,” but they get manufactured on demand, so the only way to get a new one is to be without one for a very long period of time. Thus, you risk failing inspection. The best way to avoid that is to keep two and never order any.
Military logic.
Reminds me of my buddy’s story from his time as a warehouse manager for Blockbuster (yeah, we’re old…) Blockbuster’s management did loss prevention and breakage based on item count, not item value. If a new hire shoved a $30 DVD down their pants and walked out with it every week, corporate wouldn’t care. After all, it was only 1 DVD each week. And 1 is an acceptably low number. But if that same hire shoved a $5 box of 100 pencils down their pants, corporate would lose their fucking minds. Because each pencil was counted as 1 item, so they were suddenly 100 items short.
It was sort of an open secret in the warehouse that if you were going to steal something, you should only go for the high value shit. And only do it if nobody else had already done so recently. So if the system said you had 5 in stock and there were 5 in the bin, it was open season. Because as long as you only stole one of them, corporate wouldn’t care. But if you pocketed a dozen 50¢ “impulse buy next to the register” toys, loss prevention would be patting people down as they clocked out.
On top of that, everything is ordered by article number. So it happened on a boat that they needed two replacement bolts for the engine. The engineer wrote the order, and the captain signed it and sent it to HQ.
They were informed the order would take (a long time). When they finally got the word that the order was in, they were astonished that two heavy load trucks were waiting for them. Each containing a turbine nearly as big as their boat. Which had nearly the same inventory number as the bolts. With two digits switched.
E4 mafia could probably fix that and a few other issues.
While I get the joke, I feel obliged to point out that the military is one of the very few places this could potentially makes sense (not saying it does in this case): You can basically decide that the warehouse is responsible for holding emergency stock, not ordering materiel that is produced on-demand for daily use. Essentially, if it’s produced on-demand, why would you want to go via to warehouse to get it? There are plenty of reasons you could want that of course, but if we ignore those, then the rationale can make sense.
that’s just cheating the system to achieve some metric
What gets measured gets done. For good or ill.
I worked at a printing factory once, and we often needed to replace roller pins for paper, it’s an enormous metal cylinders that, despite being couple of tons hunks of metal, were very prone to being harmed. They were in pairs and should’ve been changed in pairs so they wear out evenly. The problem is, in a warehouse, the item is “a pair of pins” but the task for a repair crew is “change a pin” which includes ordering a transportation. The problem is, if you’re making a “change of a pin” you can only order a “transportation of a pin”, but warehouse can only issue a “pair of pins”, which transportation can’t move. The corpo spent weeks trying to solve this conundrum, until the machine broke completely (a roller pin snapped if you can imagine that). After spending the entire year’s revenue on fixing it all, they fired a bunch of people for following their corporate rules too precisely.
I asked about a certain type of cake that was on sale and wasn’t in stock. I asked when it would be in stock. The manager launched into a big complaint, because they always sold out when it was on sale. See, he only ever ordered 10, because they never sold more than 10, and when it was on sale, they would sell out immediately.
He got very upset, calling me stupid when I said “If you only have 10, it would be pretty hard to sell more than 10”.
I worked in retail for a while, and it was staggering to uncover that the majority of people with the control over inventory thought the same way.
- It takes 21 days for an ordered item to arrive at the store
- A manager orders 5
- 21 days later, 5 come in
- 2 days later, all 5 are sold
- A month goes by and the person sighs, frustrated that they have to order more while simultaneously not understanding why sales are down.
Have you ever considered ordering 10 or 20 to see if they sell out in 4 to 8 days or less? Maybe then order 40 or 60?
Funnily it’s the same people that also insist on having 6 weeks worth of stock, even if the supplier delivers in 7 days 95% of the time.
seems like a funny joke tbh
Which would have been funny. They didn’t ever restock the drink, though.
Sounds like the shopkeeper was more interested in resting than infinite profits & money.
Nobody goes there. It’s too crowded
That’s how Dylan Moran runs his bookstore in Black Books.
Paraquoting off the top of my head: “Customers?? Who wanted to buy something??? What the hell do you treat them nicely for?!” … “You don’t get it; Paying customers who get what they want means books get sold. Which means you have to restock them and deal with additional customers!”
That’s what happens when the profits of a company do not benefit its employees.
Trickle down economics.
You don’t get it though! If you just let the absolute greediest people in the world keep all their profit then they’ll definitely share with you!
I actually had a coworker say a few months ago that he’s a Regan Republican because he believed in trickle down economics… I literally said “really man? And how many more decades of being wrong do you need before you realize it still doesn’t work, is five decades enough?” To which he didn’t have a reply…
The war on drugs.
There are more, list them lemmy.
Nixons war on drugs was a distraction from nixons international disasters, especially with the vietnam war and his watergate scandal.
Just now…
“I hear what you’re saying, but have you considered losing your convictions and compromising your principles?”
— average politician
“The reason they call them “flu shots” and not “flu vaccines” is because they aren’t vaccines.”
I’m still reeling. I’m still trying to process how someone that I otherwise respect can say something so phenomenally stupid
This happened a while ago. A guy started a war half way across the globe and caused major problems for himself and most of the worlds population. He tried to pretend he won that war, but he didn’t. Starting a war for no reason, or worse, to deflect from some embarrassing crimes he committed, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
We won’t tax the rich more, coz they are gonna leave if we do.
Seattle just passed a millionaires tax. Howard Schultz, the old Starbucks CEO, made a big stink of it and moved away.
Thing is, Howard Schultz is universally reviled in Seattle. Even corporate shills agree that he fucking sucks.
If they don’t pay taxes now, why would them leaving even be an issue?
😂
The rich are job creators! /s
Some old lady was over fir dinner and she asked me why i only eat certain things. I told her that i don’t eat meat. It took some time for her to compute and fired back: but you can eat fish. I said, no, because they are animals too. You could see the gears spinning again before she said that banger: i don’t think that’s true, because they don’t even bleed.
I never got why people think fish is not meat.
“The free market will come up with a solution.”
Trump president
You win. Thread over.
I can beat that. Trump president… twice…
Try this one ,trump president FOREVER
Both were RIGGED! Hillary & Kamala both actually won.
theres quite alot of evidence of rigging lol, its not likes it made up. its that the DNC refuses to acknowledges it at all.
To ignore your failures is to never learn
What?
My comment was a mockery of trump who still continually repeatedly insists that the election in which Biden won was “rigged.”
So if Trump gets his thrills & success from repeating lies over & over again, why can’t everyone else do the same?
Hilary & Kamala both won the presidencies! Those elections were rigged!
Hilary & Kamala both won the presidencies! Those elections were rigged!
Hilary & Kamala both won the presidencies! Those elections were rigged!
Because according to the way Trump talks, if you repeat a lie over & over again, you can eventually convince yourself that it’s true.
if you repeat a lie over & over again, you can eventually convince yourself that it’s true.
And half the country
believing in trumps “policies” and then dont follow up on doing research or the consequences of it. many conservatives just vote, and then forget about it after that. VERY LOW INFORMATION voters.
My father told me I shouldn’t use regular table salt because “they” were mixing powdered glass in so that it would work its way through your system and embed itself in your heart muscles.
He had called me after I got high though, so I gave him the best kid glove treatment I’ve ever managed.
Told him that was very interesting. Explained that he could easily prove and expose the conspiracy by pouring salt into a bucket of distilled water. The salt would dissolve, but the glass would sink to the bottom. He could then filter the glass out, then boil the water off to recover the salt safely. He hasn’t brought it up since.
My dad is a sweet guy and good at handyman stuff, but dear lord, almost nothing higher level. I truly think it’s the lead exposure.
My dad is a sweet guy and good at handyman stuff, but dear lord, almost nothing higher level. I truly think it’s the lead exposure.
I think we may be brothers
Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly.
“Please listen carefully as our menu items have changed.”
“Call volume is higher than normal”
The fuck it is. If anytime I call is ‘higher than normal’, change what your “normal” baseline is or stop lying to me.
The normal volume benchmark is taken at 3AM on a national holiday, which also is on a Sunday.
I’ll toss in a voice menu with no option for buttons and mashing zero doesn’t get you a rep.
Add tthe newfangled ai bots into the voice menu and it’s a back and forth between your problem and “I don’t understand your problem, could you repeat that?”
And their inevitable fuck you of “I couldn’t understand you, please call back and try again” before they end the call
You, you are my problem!
Can you still curse at them to get an attendant?
The damn things pick up on every tiny, insignificant noise in the background, too. You don’t have to say anything and sometimes it’ll go, “Sorry, I didn’t get that.” No shit, I didn’t say anything, someone simply slammed a car door shut outside.
Good luck to all the parents who try to navigate those menus while their kids are around…
I promise that everyone in this subthread hates phone systems less than I do. And there is a good reason you all have these infuriating experiences.
And the reason is stupid.
I have had to set those up, we likely hate them on a very similar level.
I’m amazed by some of the shit that falls out of my own mouth sometimes.
“I don’t accept any mistakes on a forklift. And I expect them even less when you’re working forced overtime, because the longer you’re operating the forklift at a time the deeper your focus should be”
the vile shitbag warehouse manager who paid a lot of money to repaint all our forklifts just so she could scream at us about the tiniest scuffs.
fuck you Jean, but also thank you for radicalizing me
This is second hand from a friend, but he said he overheard a conversation between 2 coworkers:
Person A: looks like you got some sun this weekend
Person B (badly sunburned): Yeah, I just bought a convertible and did a lot of driving with the top down. I figured that the wind would stop me from getting sunburned, but I guess it wasn’t cold enough
Person A: That’s… not how that works
I was once told that it was too cold to wear sun glasses…
Meanwhile I frequently wear them when it’s sunny after snowfall…bright white mounds do a lot to make the sun more annoying.
they probably think being a very snowy area means you wont get sunburn either.
My family always called it windburn. Not that it was caused by the wind, but that because you have airflow you don’t feel as hot so you dont think your being burned.
I got second degree burns over most of my body on a FL beach through sunscreen in the 90s similarly. 0/10 do not recommend.
Damn Florida. I got burned on the bottom of my foot when one of my sandals broke halfway through a beach walk in Florida. It absolutely sucked.
